The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 40: Vexations

Something knots in my lower abdomen sharply and my body curls in its slumber. Suddenly the duvet is pulled off me. A hand pushes my hips gently to the side. I groan.

"Farrah," his voice urges.

My eyes batter open.

"Get up, mon amour, you've stained the sheets."

I flip around and sit up. "What?" I stir slightly.

Xavier's eyes are glued to the mattress beneath us. His gaze shifts to my lower half then back to the mattress. Then I see it. What captivates his attention so robustly early this morning.

Red is spread wide in a circle beneath us. My pants, now warm and wet sticks to my skin in a hugging manner. My heart stops and I lose all air. This is a dream. This has to be a dream.

Farrah wake up. Wake up now!

But the blood on Xavier's shorts tell me this is no fantasy. This is reality. He gets up first, pulling the covers completely off the bed. I grimace when I see the same rosy red mark on the blanket too.

My body jerks off the bed in complete disgrace. I feel a panic attack building and I scold myself.

"I'm so sorry." I whimper, feeling completely embarrassed. In this moment, I just want a trailer to come run me clean over.

Xavier looks up from scrunching the blanket, bemusement evident on his face. "What for?"

His voice is groggy and calm. He strolls into the bathroom and I clench my chest. I'm so stupid. What have I done? What if the actual mattress is stained. I heave a breath, trying to quiet these daunting thoughts. My throat constricts. I can't breathe.

"Hey, hey. Stop crying" He gives me a bleak once over.

I didn't even notice he came back. Am I really crying? Since when? I dab at my damp face.

"I ran you a shower. Leave your clothes on the floor." he instructs in a tranquil tone. He walks back over to the bed, unfolding the stained sheets. It's as if my body became paralyzed as I soak in the scene before me.

"Farrah, do you want me to undress you myself?" he sighs.

I shake my head no, treading toward his bathroom. When I get inside, I do as told and leave my clothes on the floor. The pitter patter of the shower's warm water massages me all over. I watch as the water on the floor turns red then pink just before sliding down the drain. I can't come back from this. There's no redemption.

If only I can find a hole deep enough, I'll crawl into it and never emerge again.

"Alice!" Xavier shouts outside the door. He repeats her name again and suddenly I hear soft chatter. Their voices turn incomprehensible and I close my eyes. After several minutes of nothingness but warm water cascading down my skin, I grab Xavier's soap. It smells just like him. I inhale the rich scent, lathering it on quickly.

I don't even want to face him after this. What does he think of me now? Careless? Disgusting? My eyes sting and I blame it on the hot water. The bathroom quickly turns foggy as airy steam clouds the glass and mirror. When my skin begins to prune, I decide its time to climb out.

Laid neatly on the counter is an over sized shirt and shorts. I glance at the ground where my prior clothes laid. They're gone. I pick up one of my fresh pairs of underwear that happened to be laid on top of the clothes. Next to it is one pad and one tampon. I know the clothes are Xavier's but this part has to be Alice's doing, that I know for sure. Something warm sprouts through me. I moisturize and dress myself swiftly. When I open the door, I'm greeted with cool air.