***WARNING: MATURE CONTENT***
Darkness was something Ambrosia knew far too well. From childhood bullying to the loss of her parents, it seemed she couldn't escape it. She hid her outgoing personality from the world. Her only real happiness came from...
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I'm a fucking idiot. A complete and total dumb ass. Why did I do that? I knew how this was gonna go. I knew eventually I would slip and do something as stupid as kissing my best friend. That's why I needed to get away from them. If I didn't I would've ruined what they were building to become.
"I think I love you."
"I think I love you too."
Of course they did. They were so perfect for each other. They were the kindest, and strongest people I know. Each been through something disastrous but coming out better than before. They gravitated towards each other because of how alike they were.
I had went to get a rag to clean up the mess we had made. At least give Ambrosia some time to recuperate before I made love to her as well. But I had overheard them talking and I didn't want to interrupt. She was glad he was the one to take her virginity. She had thought about him doing it all along. It was always him. But where did that leave me?
"It was never actually part of my plan."
Of course I wasn't. I was just some tag along. That's where I put myself so I shouldn't have been upset. But hearing her say those words put things into perspective. I was just the buffer guy. My duty was to bring them two together. And that's what I told them. I didn't mean to offend her and make her think I didn't care, because I do. I care too fucking much. About the both of them. And my secret feelings were gonna ruin everything. So I left.
Kasey has been encouraging me to just tell them how I feel. I couldn't do that to them. They needed to figure out what was going on with themselves instead of worrying about me. They would look at me like I was some kinda freak. I mean what man wants to fuck both his best friends? A creep that's who.
And I saw it Daniel's eyes. After I ravished him unexpectedly. I didn't mean to. He just kept pushing and pushing. He wasn't understanding that I was doing what was best for them. I couldn't hold it back any longer. He needed to see why being my friend was all wrong. So showed him. And then I saw it in his scrunched up face. Disgust. Everything I had tried to keep a hold of now crumbled at my fingertips.
My heart constricted in my chest. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe, my hands felt numb, I felt like I could pass out at any moment. I needed to get the fuck outta here.
I found myself driving....somewhere. I had no idea where I was going but I needed to go. What the fuck did I do?! How could I be so fucking stupid. I slammed my hand against the steering wheel berating myself.
I loved them. Both of them. I'm in love with them and I ruined any chance of being with them. Not even just in a romantic way, but as friends as well. He told me it was okay to be with Ambrosia too. Both of them approved, so why couldn't I just accept that?
I must've been driving for hours, no destination in sight. It was dark out so I decided to head home. Some rest was definitely needed right now. Parking my car in the driveway I looked down to Ambrosia's house and saw her truck wasn't there. Good.
