Under The Weather

28

I was now sobbing uncontrollably.

I thought I was over it all.

That wasn't the case.

The pure thought of what I had done to Jamie made me sick to my stomach. I didn't want to think about it.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed so much." His emerald eyes filled with concern.

"I-it's not t-that." I sighed, "It's – N-nevermind."

Lance handed me the letter, "You should read it, Bailey."

"I c-can't." I wiped my face, "W-what if I –"

"I'll stay here with you." He grabbed my hand, "You need closure. I know it helped me with my brother when I listened to the last voicemail he sent me. This letter is Jamie's voice."

Jamie ran past me, tearful.

"Jamie!" I grabbed her arm.

"What?!"

I winced at her shout, "Are you okay?"

"No, clearly not, Bailey." She ripped from my grasp, "Why? Why do you still let her do this to me?"

"I don't know what to do, Jamie."

"What? So you just help her push me around and laugh?"

I rolled my eyes, "Stop being so sensitive, Jamie."

"Sensitive?"

"Yes! God, all you do is complain about Rachel –"

"How can you defend her?" Jamie scoffed, "I thought we were friends, Bailey."

"Jamie that's not what I meant, of course, we're friends! I'm sorry –"

"All you do is apologise, Bailey. It doesn't change anything. Do you ever even listen to me?"

She stormed off.

"Okay, I-I'll r-read it." I picked up the envelope, my hands shaking.

As Lance said, this letter is Jamie's voice and she deserves to be heard.

I delicately pulled the opening, careful not to rip the envelope.

Pulling out the paper encased in the beige envelope, I looked at Lance who gripped my knee in support.

'Here we go.'

I took a deep breath and opened the folded paper.

Dear Bailey,

I know you didn't mean to hurt me; you would never do it on purpose, right?

I'll never forget all the times you picked me up from the ground and made me smile. That's how I want to remember you at least.

I'll never forget you; you were one of my only real friends.

Sometimes, I used to wonder if you hated me.

When you would laugh at me, it would hurt more than Rachel when would do it.

I used to make myself believe you really didn't care, maybe so it didn't hurt as much

Not that it matters anymore.

I just wanted to say one last thing,

Right now, you're probably beating yourself up about what happened, carrying it around everywhere you go because that's you.

I want you to know, I don't hate you for what you did, I used to.

I forgive you, Bailey.

Just promise me that you'll stop Rachel next time.

Jamie

I held the letter tight in my hand, but not tight enough to crumple it.

I picked up the envelope and put the letter back into its previous place for safekeeping.

This letter was the last thing I had that would remind me of Jamie.

I now realised I didn't want to forget and move on.

Lance wrapped his arms around me, the room was completely still.

I promise you, Jamie.

I'll change.