Don't Love Me ✓

14

"You cannot chuck the entire water bottle without touching it in just thirty five seconds, Joshua." I chuckled at my close friend, Joshua who was trying really hard to chuck the entire water bottle even though we all know, he was not going to make it.

Including him.

"If you can't motivate me, then don't try to demotivate me, atleast." He growled and I controlled my chuckle to avoid hurting his ego, while Grace just went haywire and wound whatever ego he had by laughing like crazy on his face.

"You are so fucking dumb, Joshua, so fucking dumb." She laughed, making him glare at her, angrily, while I just sat there quietly with a fist on my mouth to avoid any sort of noise from escaping, but nevertheless, a suppressed laugh escaped from my lips and soon, I was in hysterics, along with Grace— Not just because he was trying to do this, but because he had already wasted three bottles and his entire t-shirt was wet as if someone had poured the bottle empty over his head.

"I have got worst bunch of friends!" He exclaimed, flaring his hands in the air dramatically, when a voice spoke making my laugh die down, instantly, "Stop trying to embarrass yourself more and just accept the damn defeat." His voice sent chills down my body and my heartbeats increased instantly.

It had been four days since that night and I had been trying all I could to avoid talking to him. Yes, at first I thought I would be the bigger person and talk to him like nothing happened at all but, whenever he was around me, I felt my heartbeats increasing drastically and all the hair on my body stood up, as if indicating me to not go near him.

And instincts are to be trusted.

Five minutes later, the break was over and Grace stood up, still laughing along with a grumpy Joshua, "You're one lucky bitch," Grace said, referring to my free period after lunch and I smiled widely at her, "I don't even fucking know what compelled me to take this fucking extra curricular activity." She growled making Joshua sigh in agreement with her.

"The certificate." I answered and she gave me the look that screamed 'shut up', "What? I was just answering to your question."

"Of course." She muttered while walking away, a grumpy Joshua trailing behind her, leaving me with none other than, the one and only— Caden Mathew who anything but loathed me.

He turned his head towards me and stated at my panicked face. Smirking, he leaned closer making my nerves go all over the place and whispered, "You are scared of me, aren't you?"

Calming my raging heartbeats, I whispered back an answer, "Just a little."

"You should fear me more."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't be asking me that after what I did to you that night." His breathing was heavy and the distance between our faces was lesser than four centimetres.

"Your intentions were never to hurt me."

"But I did."

"For me." I passed him a small smile and pulled back before walking away towards the campus's garden. I sat on a bench that was situated right under a huge tree and started admiring the nature.

Soon, I was lost in my world of thoughts, where I replayed each and every memory of me with my parents, my life before their death— my life before it all became just a bunch of mess. I was all alone in this big world now, with no one by my side, but Grace. She was the only ray of sunshine in my world of darkness and Joshua, ofcourse.

For how long though, I always asked myself this question. Even if I get myself treated, for whom am I suppose to live? All three of us were going be graduating in less than six months and no one knows what our life would be after that.

She would probably be busy in her own life, stepping the ladders of success with her special one by her side. She probably might not live in Victoria for all I knew and I could not be the reason of her obstacle that stops her from achieving what she wants to.

A leaf on my head broke down my trail of thoughts and I lifted it up from my head and held it in my hand. It was a greenish yellow coloured leaf with few holes in it. It was a beautiful leaf, but alas, it had to die. We all were going to die anyways, some sooner than the others and maybe, I was the early chosen one.

Crumbling of leaves made me look up at the person who was walking towards me, carrying his dark, yet calm aura. He took a seat beside me at a fairly good distance and tried to look at me with a straight face, but the creases on his forehead gave away the confusion that he was trying to hide so well.

"How can you look at the positive side of someone all the damn time? Why not just hate them?" He asked, his palms interlocked and resting on his lap.

"Life is too short to find the flaws in others."

"But what if they show you all of their flaws?"

"Then you just cover them up with yours. No one in this world is perfect, Caden, neither you, nor I. We all have some flaws that we try to cover up from the world, that we try to hide and for wanting God to hide them from the world, we need to let go of other people's flaws." I said, trying to read his face, trying to understand what made him suddenly talk to me, but I didn't ask anything because I did not want to ruin this moment for any of us.

Maybe, it was not a moment for him, but for me, every moment counted, every moment mattered and I was trying to cherish whatever I could in this short span of time. I looked up at him again and continued, "Also, flaws makes one better."

"How would you know that? You are perfect in every fucking sense! Everyone loves you, you have got a friend that cares for you more than some mother does, you make people fall at your feet by just passing that annoying smile of yours, your life is just so fucking perfect. You don't know what having a flaw means, you don't know how to live a life like ours, you would probably never know."

"Yes, I would probably never know how to live a life like yours, no matter how hard I try."

•••••••

Quarantine is keeping me so busy!

What is your guys status?