Don't Love Me ✓

15

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed looking at the pillow. Never in my life had this happened before, like few strands of hair were okay, but this, this was too much. There were literally quite a huge amount of strands on the pillow and my brain froze at the sight.

It was the nature's sign of telling me that I did not have many days left now and my heart frown at this. I looked at the calendar that hung on the wall before standing up and walking towards it and crossing today’s date. My heart felt heavy at this, but I knew that I brought it upon myself. It was my decision to just let nature do it’s thing and not mess with it, so I should not be sad at looking at my excess amount of hairfall or decreasing number of days.

On the good side, I would get to meet my parents soon and hopefully, with a degree. I did not want to cry because I was about to vanish from this world soon enough, but because I was going to lose Grace and I did not want to see her cry or hurt. My heart clenched at just the thought of her. I had no idea what she and Dr. Kelly talked about, but since the day I had been back from the hospital, she had been trying real hard to make me get this treatment.

Obviously, not after what happened that night, but I hated myself everyday to see the hope in her eyes die with every passing day.

I shook my head to get rid of all the thoughts and told myself to smile and be happy. With that positive thought set in my mind, I started getting ready for the university. Thirty minutes later, I heard Grace honking the car, so quickly grabbing my home keys and phone, I made a run for the door.

“I am here, I am here!” I took few deep breaths to steady down my fast heartbeats and buckled my seatbelt before Grace started the engine and the car roared to life.

“So—” Gracie started and I raised my eyebrows at her expectantly.

“So?”

“It’s Friday.”

“It is Friday, indeed.”

“How are you feeling? As in can you see your health improving? Dr. Kelly said that she was trying to give you this newly launched tablets.” I could see it deteriorating every day.

“Oh, I am feeling good, absolutely fresh.” I replied, feeling guilty for not telling her all about the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the hairfall, the fatigue, but it was all for the good.

“Then why do you have dark circles under your eyes?” She asked, skeptically.

“I was up till late at night watching the series that you suggested.” I am sorry, Grace.

“Since past few days?”

“Erm—”

“It’s the nightmares, isn’t it?” I nodded my head, already feeling exhausted for the day.

“You told me they stopped coming.” She pressed the engine more, breaking a few signals on the way. I knew she was trying to keep her calm, but she was going to lose it soon, I could just sense it.

“I did not want to worry you, Gracie.” I mumbled and she pressed the engine harder.

“We are going to have a fucking sleepover tonight.” She was not even asking, it was literally a statement and I was scared as to what was about to happen tonight.

~

Everyone could sense the dampness in our moods and by everyone, I meant every single one of the student body and all of the professors. With Grace being extra bitchy for no reason and me not really talking to anyone, it was all over the air that something was wrong between us.

“Grace.” Joshua tapped Grace’s shoulder which she brushed off angrily and did what she was doing before— that’s right, nothing.

“Grace, you told me that you would teach me Prof. Marshall’s theory!”

“I don’t fucking want to anymore!”

I passed him a small apologetic smile and went back to reading my book. Prof. Wilson has not came yet and I was only hoping that he would not come today because I did not think I could handle his lecture on management. He made the very interesting subject, a very boring one.

“Why is she acting like a solid bitch?” Caden whisper-asked Joshua to which he shrugged his shoulders and whispered back, “It’s nothing new.”

“What do you mean?” Caden asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“She always acts like this on Fridays, the reason for which is still unknown.”

Oh, so he has noticed.

Caden turned his head towards me and I passed him a small smile before returning back to my book and groaning when all the words bounced over my head. I closed the book and put my head over it, closing my eyes to avoid the headache that was starting to form.

“Rosa, are you okay?”

I lifted my head up and passed her a small smile before putting my head again on the book.

“Rosa!”

“I am just feeling exhausted, Gracie, nothing else.” I pressed my head tight and tried to erase the pain, but Grace stood up, gaining attention from quite a few people and said, “Come on, we are going home. Let’s get some rest before going there.”

“What, no?! We cannot be missing lectures time and again.”

“Rosa—”

“No, Gracie, sit down. It’s a mere headache.” Ofcourse, she protested, but on insisting much, she agreed, but kept on checking at me every few minutes.

Prof. Wilson has not came yet and only ten minutes were left for the class to end now. I groaned silently as the headache went from bad to worse and pressed my head tighter to ease the pain, but it all went in vain.

“Y-You okay?” Surprisingly, I was not expecting this question to ever come from the person with black hair and black eyes, also known as Caden Matthew.

“Oh, erm, yes, just a little headache.” And suddenly, his mood instantly changed from worried to straight. A frown appeared on his face and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, what did I do again to make him glare at me?

“Will you stop fucking smiling for a moment?!”

“That’s what I am short of.”

•••••••

You all might think that the main characters are not interacting much, but trust me, everything would fall in place soon.