Don't Love Me ✓

16

"Your health is deteriorating more rapidly than before, I am afraid we still have as much time as before."

Dr. Kelly's words kept on ringing in my ears and I blinked my eyes rapidly to hide the unshed tears from Gracie who was also, probably, thinking about the same thing as me, slouched across from me on a dark red bean bag, a sad face mixed with anger plastered on her face.

"Your report says that you have been worrying a lot lately, what might be the cause of it, Rosaline?"

Dr. Kelly had asked me, making Grace turn his head instantly in a whiplash. She had a scowl plastered on her face since then because apparantly, I have been hiding stuff from her which I haven't except for the whole Caden Matthew part. She already had a lot in her plate because of me and as much selfish as I might sound right now, I did not want to fill her plate more because of my personal issues.

"I know you don't want the treatment, Rosaline, but as a doctor it is my duty to let you know that if you want to get it done, then you only have two weeks for that. After that, I am afraid I won't be able to help you, even if you want Rosaline, please let that sink in."

I shook my head to get my head free of all the thoughts, but who was I kidding? Her words were going to haunt me every night and as much as I was all ready and prepared for what was about to come, I was still scared to the bones.

"Let's order some chinese, Gracie." She looked up with glistening eyes and I very well know why they were glistening in the first place. She looked up and took a deep breath before looking at me and passing me a small smile,

"I want pizza."

"Or we can have both."

"Sounds perfect." She replied, half-heartedly and I nodded my head before picking up my cellphone and calling a pizza place to order two large pizza.

"I will go to the chinese place nearby and get some fried rice and noodles."

"Why can't we just get it delivered too?" She raised her eyebrows and I reminded her, "Remember the last time we ordered chinese from there? They came like an hour late, even though it is at ten minutes walking distance." I stated my point across.

"We can order from some other place." She suggested and I shrugged my shoulders, "They have some bomb chinese."

"Not going to deny that." She stood up and grabbed her hoodie making me look up at her in confusion.

"What are you doing?" I asked, walking closer.

"Getting chinese, duh."

"Uh-uh, I am going."

"Don't fucking fight with me on this one." She snarled and yanked her hoodie back from my grip.

"Please, Gracie? You have got all the time in this world to walk there." I pouted and her face instantly melted making me smile in victory. In just a blink, her arms were engulfed around me, taking me into a tight hug which I returned gratefully with the equal amount of love.

"Don't fucking say that, Rosa, ever." I nodded my head and rubbed a tear that escaped from her eye with my thumb and placed a small kiss on her cheek.

"I'll be back soon, don't start the pizza without me." I started walking out of the door and just when I was about to close it, I heard her shout that made me laugh a little,

"No promises!"

Not even two minutes later, my smile turned into a sad face and my chuckles converted into sobs. I had never seen Grace so hurt and sad to the point where she had to control her tears and force a smile. This was not my Grace, this was definitely not my Grace.

A hiccup escaped my lips and I wiped away my tears with the back of my hands before taking a deep breath and calming myself down. All the pain and suffering would go away in few months, no one would have to cry then.

"I will have to suffer till my last fucking breath."

Grace's words rang through my ears and tears welled up in my eyes once again.

I was such a horrible best friend.

"Sunshine?" I turned my head so quickly that the migraine which had subsided earlier had come again, resulting me into pressing my head.

"C-Caden, hi." I greeted him with a smile and quickly wiped off the remainder of my tears.

"The headache is still there?" I nodded my head and looked away, wanting to quickly walk away from there without having any mishap in out encounter which is the only thing that happens when we meet.

Don't want to lessen my days by worrying more about stuff, also known as Caden Matthew.

"You've been crying." It was rather a statement, then a question.

"What, no, it's just, something got in my eye." I lied, feeling extremely ashamed of myself, but I guess my parents will forgive me for this one.

"Then let me see." He placed his index finger on my chin and lifted my face up to which I instantly took few steps back, ignoring all the uneasy feelings in the pit of my stomach.

"Thank you, but it's gone now. I shall take my leave now, I want to go somewhere." With that said, I started walking away when he called my name making me stop in my tracks with my fist clenched tightly.

Keep it together, Rosaline, don't let him see your tears.

"Avoiding me, are we?" He walked closer, chuckling lightly.

"I am not." I replied weakly.

"When I ask you to not talk to me, you still try and ignite conversations making me mad like fuck and now when I want to talk to you, you walk away clearly ignoring me." He was right behind me, I could feel the heat that was radiating through his body and to say that I was not scared would be an understatement.

I did not want him to see me like this.

I did not want anyone see me like this.

"Why were you crying?" He asked again and this time, turning me around by my shoulders.

"I was not—" I started, but he cut me off mid sentence.

"How about we try truth this time, huh?" It was hard to read his face, I could sense a tint of sincerity in his voice, but then again, he was Caden Matthew who loved it when I was in pain.

"Some stuff happened which hurt Grace more than anything and I could have avoided it, but I didn't, I c-couldn't." My voice cracked at the end and I looked up to stop my tears from escaping. Oh, how stupid I must have been looking crying. I waited for him to make fun of me, to insult me the way he always does, but for some twisted reason, he didn't.

Instead, he nodded his head in understanding and took off his hand from my shoulder before asking another question, "Where are you headed to?"

"To get some chinese."

"Let's get going, then."

"Huh?" I asked in complete and utter, pure confusion. He let out a small laugh looking at my confused state and draped his arm over my shoulder. Passing me a tooth grinning smile, he said,

"I know I haven't exactly been good to you, but can we start over as friends?" My mouth flew open in shock and I could not believe as to what I heard right, now. I must be dreaming, it had to be a dream, but when he continued smiling at me, I realised it was not a dream, it was real and just then a grin broke off my face and I replied happily,

"Yes, friends."

But the real question was, for how long?

•••••••

All I have been doing this quarantine is watching korean dramas, I didn't know I would say this, but DAMN, I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED!