Mr. Krabs: (dancing and singing at Pearl's birthday party) Yar har, Pearl's my daughter, and I'll spit in your eye! Yo ho, Pearl's a whale and it's her birthday, yar yar yar! Ta-da!
Pearl: Thanks for the show, Dad. Now can we open the presents?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, all right. Presents for me darling little sardine. It's from me. (places the present in front of Pearl)
Pearl: Oh you shouldn't have. What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them.
Mr. Krabs: Uhh...well, they might be.
Pearl: Whee! (begins to unwrap present) Oh, you shouldn't have, yay, you shouldn't have. (sees present) I mean, Dad, (holds up big boots) you really shouldn't have! (Pearl's friends laugh)
Mr. Krabs: Pearl, these are the finest fishin' boots available!
Pearl: Dad, you ruined me! (cries)
Mr. Krabs: But I got them for a bargain! (house shakes from Pearl's screaming and crying) Oh, what am I gonna do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots and now I'm stuck with them!
SpongeBob: (peeks into Mr. Krabs office) Oh, uhh, Mr. Krabs, can I get my paycheck?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBoy Me Bob! Come in. Come in, right this way, laddy! Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful priceless boots. (SpongeBob sits down but the boots are in his way so he can't see Mr. Krabs) So you want to get paid?
SpongeBob: Uhh, sir, I can't see you. The boots (leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other) are in (leans over to one side and Mr Krabs leans towards the other) the way. (Mr. Krabs pushes the boots aside)
Mr. Krabs: In the way? These boots never leave my sight! These are the most expensive and prized possessions I own.
SpongeBob: Wow, really? Why is that, they just look like any old ordinary boots.
Mr. Krabs: Ordinary boots? These are the only official fry cook boots! Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them! Part of a tradition. And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.
SpongeBob: Who's that?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, uhh, oh, well, his name's not important, but he was famous all right, don't you worry.
SpongeBob: I'm ready! I'm ready! I want those boots!
Mr. Krabs: Sorry son, these boots are far too valuable. (puts boots away)
SpongeBob: I know! What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck?
Mr. Krabs: Paycheck! You got a deal-
SpongeBob: And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free?
Mr. Krabs: You're got a deal.
SpongeBob: And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry orders!
Mr. Krabs: You got a...
SpongeBob: And... (Mr. Krabs stops SpongeBob from saying anything else) Hold on there, lad! You're gonna give me a heart attack. (shakes SpongeBob's hand) You got yourself a deal. (Squidward is drying off a glass when he looks through the glass and sees SpongeBob wearing boots)
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. Do you like my new boots? Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official fry cook! (Squidward moans as SpongeBob jumps around the Krusty Krab with the boots and makes squeaky noises)
Squidward: That squeaking is gonna drive us all crazy!
Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, Squidward. That squeaking is money to my ears. I mean, music. (at Mr. Krabs house, he is sleeping and dreaming of money jumping into the register when all of a sudden, the pair of squeaky boots jumps in the register. He wakes up) Wha? Who's there? (rests head on pillow) Back to countin' me money. (goes back to sleep and counts coins bouncing into the register until the boots appear again then he wakes up) What the barnacle is that? (window is squeaking open and shut. Mr. Krabs closes the window then goes back into bed but notices the window still open. Goes back to close it but steps into a hole and falls out the window. Comes back into his bedroom and shuts the window over and over until the window finally stays closed. Walks back to his bed but steps into another hole and slips into his bed and twists around in his hammock and is tied up while the window makes squeaky noises all night. It's morning and Mr. Krabs has his two legs bandaged up as he walks to the Krusty Krab) Arrgh, that was the worst night I ever weathered. At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work. (as he walks up to the door, Squidward slams the doors open into Mr. Krabs face)
