(Squidward is sleeping and hearing noises. He awakens to reveal SpongeBob and Patrick under his blanket with a sign that reads "happy birthday")
SpongeBob & Patrick: Surprise! Happy birthday, Squidward! (all 3 standing in front of a cake) Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday cake! (standing in front of a picture of a seahorse and Squidward has the tail) Happy happy birthday! Pin the tail on the seahorse! (surrounded by presents) Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday Squidward! (SpongeBob & Patrick run out of Squidward's house)
Squidward: It's not my birthday! (shuts door and takes off party hat) That's it, I'm moving out of this neighborhood!
Realtor Lady: (looking at a picture of Squidward's house) Absolutely, Mr. Tentacles! (woman from Bikini Realty on phone) I can sell your home in a heartbeat.
Squidward: Oh that's great news, because I want to move as soon as possible.
Realtor Lady: No problem! As long as it's not infested with nematodes, or surrounded by troublesome neighbors or something like that.
Squidward: Oh sure, there's none of that... Did you say neighbors?
Realtor Lady: Of course! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a sale fall through because of bad neighbors.
Squidward: Neighbors. Uhh...
Realtor Lady: Anyway, I'll be by tomorrow to check out the house. See you then! (both hang up)
Squidward: SpongeBob! No one will ever buy my house with him living next door! Whatever a good neighbor would do, he does the opposite! Opposite...opposite... (Later, SpongeBob is sleeping but is awaken from Squidward's instrument playing outside)
SpongeBob: Umm, Squidward, why are you playing that drum? (Squidward stops playing)
Squidward: Drum? What drum? (puts the drum on the ground and punches a hole in it) This is just my wig case! (puts on the wig and frolics around) Come on SpongeBob, tackle me!
SpongeBob: Squidward! You need bed rest! (pushes Squidward to his house as Squidward is blowing bubbles) I'll keep you safe until you're well again.
Squidward: Oh, I get it. You don't know what day it is, do you?
SpongeBob: Uhh, Wednesday?
Squidward: Why, it's Opposite Day! (SpongeBob is confused) You mean you've never heard of it? Boy, have you been missing out! Opposite Day is the one day of the year when you get to act different! Normally I'm stuffy, boring, but today I'm silly and spontaneous!
SpongeBob: Does everybody know about Opposite Day?
Squidward: Oh sure! It's a game! Get it?
SpongeBob: Oh, a game.
Squidward: Yeah! Normally, you're really loud and annoying, so what are you going to be today?
SpongeBob: Quiet and out of the way! Yay!
Squidward: Yeah! Why don't you get a jump on it.
SpongeBob: I love...I mean, I hate Opposite Day. (giggles as he runs back into his pineapple) I'm not ready!
Squidward: So long, chum! (takes off wig) And goodbye, Bikini Bottom!
SpongeBob: (running to Gary) Gary! It's Opposite Day and I... (stops running) ...walk, don't run. And I'm gonna...opposite...opposite...I'm just going to crawl into bed and do nothing all day. (crawls into bed) Too bad it only comes once a year, huh Gary?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Gary, where's your holiday spirit?!
Gary: (barks)
