These Hazy Days

I'm Sorry

I want you to know that I'm sorry.
I didn't plan on hurting you.
I live with my decision every day;
now how these days trudge by.

        That cold January evening,
        regret made me see double.
        Two oaks I lay under then,
        two oaks that heard me cry.
        Two blades of grass
        I massaged that night,
        between two shaking thumbs.

Before I knew it, April came.
The honey tasted almost of forgiveness.
The swan's song was almost a lullaby.
For a moment, the mountains' tight embrace
was reassuring, warm.

        That spring, distant planes
        bruised and broke the bright night sky.
        Their starry silver eyes searched always,
        unending, but they never sought me out.
        I understand you feel the same.
        I ache with the knowledge
        that I brought you pain.
        Please tell me what to do.

I am emptier than November winds,
than riverbeds gone dry.
As summer wanes, leaves curl and fall
and in the coming dark, so will I.