These Hazy Days

Well-Loved Note

I haven't forgotten what you said.
And I won't forget the way you laughed
Though you were never happy.
I'll never forget your resilience,
And the lines that creased your features
Like a well-loved note, folded and refolded.

And I'll remember the day in September
When you hugged me in the parking lot.
Your hands were cold, but strong,
And your tears ran fast and thankful.
Your cheeks were fuller then—
Not yet given into wane.

I remember the last days too.
At your party, well into the night,
You took me into the guest room
And told me that you wanted to see
The ocean a final time.
On the drive, you didn't look at me once.

I remember the hollow hymns your house sang
After you packed.

I remember the days of no wind.
Then there were the days of gales,
Of tossing trees, turning waves, and shifting sands.
You strained the grains through your fingers
As if your hands served no more purpose
Than a sieve might out at sea.
You let the sand scrub your knotted face
And smooth the imperfections below.

In the last days, you wouldn't let me
Rest my shoulder against yours.

I'm sorry if I held you too much.