{ONGOING}
Is it still the same? I don't know. I've put in a lot of efforts to make sure it isn't, but never succeeded. Hell, even Justin and his songs couldn't work their magic. But...
Why is he here?
Why now?
But...how? Just-how?
You know how when...
"There is a languid, emerald sea, where the sole inhabitant is me- a mermaid, drifting blissfully.
I am an orphan, roaming the street. I pattern soft dust with my hushed, bare feet. The silence is golden, the freedom is sweet."
-Robin Klein
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"When you are left all alone, all you think about is getting someone you absolutely love to be with you, even if it means stranding that person for the rest of their life. That is just how selfish love is."
Whoever came up with that claim, is just spitting pure raw BS
Because I fail to see how on earth a draining conversation or, socializing is a good way for me to recharge and save energy.
When I am left all alone, all I think about is how tempting it seems to hang my neck from the ceiling fan. I have thought about doing it many times. The only things holding me back are Josephine and Anne.
Can'tthinkoflettingthembepeaceful, canyou?
What is it with my subconscious and my brain constantly dismissing each other?
I let him be peaceful, didn't I? I let him go. It hurt me, it fudging hurt me more than leaving everything behind and it was painful-painful because every time I pictured a smiling Daniel, he was naturally paired with short girl in my mind, them falling for one another and having an amazingly happy life together. How could I intervene into something as pure as that? As them? It doesn't matter how I felt, I've ruined my own life. With false expectations, with hopeless feelings. It doesn't give me any right to cause any catastrophe in theirs. Specially in his. I can't ever think of compelling him to feel the same way I do him, it isn't fair from any perception. Hedeserves to be happy, with someone heloves and with someone who will love him unconditionally. Not a lost cause like me. He's too good to be drowning with a miserable creature like me; one thing I know for sure, not just him, anyone at all who gets involved with me, is sure to be left broken with the endless issues I have with people around me. I don't have any stable relationship with my family, I don't have any reliable or, countable social group, neither do I have any interest to be in one, and I'm just simply, what's the word. . . back to the whole 'lost cause'.
