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RA 13: KARMA

September 28, 1998

I see them in the hall.

I have to admit it, I was stalking.

Ever since the museum talk I had with Henry, he's been acknowledging my existence a whole lot more now, which is the equivalent to two more glances per day. The glances even come with smiles! He never says anything though.

I feel more confident that his friends would be okay with hanging around me. I mean, they hang out with him, so they must be accepting of the same types of people. Right?

I see Raina getting a sip of water from the fountain across the hallway and Walt is leaning on the wall next to her talking about I have no idea what. So then I walk closer and act like I'm doing nothing special.

Walt grips the strap of his backpack and says, "Everyone here is so...soft. You know what I'm saying?"

Raina just grunts in reply and continues to sip her H2O and hold her silky, long, light brown hair away from the fountain.

Our lockers don't have locks for some stupid reason and I needed to be more secretive, so I opened up a random one and started shuffling things around, hoping I wouldn't get caught.

"No one is really...UH!, you know?"

His terrible explanation earns the glares of both me and Raina.

"Okay what the hell are you trying to get at?" she asks as she wipes away the water trying to reach her chin. She's not mad necessarily, but she's frowning. Either she's tired of his shenanigans or she really has no freaking idea what he's getting at. I for one am a mixture of both.

"Why are you snooping in my locker?" I hear a familiar boyish voice say.

Henry?

I look up to my left and see a classmate I despise headed my way from the direction of Raina and Walt.

Without second thought I walk away and leave his messy locker open.

"Hey!" he yells after me, but I tell him to shut it so that I can continue listening to their conversation.

"That's not gonna cover-" having enough of his blabber, I cover his mouth and listen to Raina and Walt continue to talk.

"I heard from Mitch Welcome that if you were a real one, you wouldn't be afraid to be unnecessarily mean to people. It earns you respect and makes you seem really cool."

"You mean that idiot wrestler?" Rainia says and continues to wipe the dripping water from her mouth and move out of the way of the water fountain.

"Who else would I be talking about?"

"I dunno. Do you actually believe what he said is true?"

"Of course. He said that's what he did to get where he is today. He said he's never had to take anyone's crap because of this. I think it's true anyway because I know people like that."

"Who?"

"You."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Raina starts to walk past Walt just in time for this absolute slime ball to lick my hand.

I push his head back with the palm of my now spitty hand and wipe it on the back of my jeans.

I look at him with disgust and he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "My revenge."

I think about lunging at him, but I could never. I just quickly apologize before walking in the direction of Raina and Walt.

I cannot believe the things I do to try and satisfy my mother and her needs for me to "fit in".

I walk close enough behind them to not be suspicious, but also close enough to hear. They make a stop at a locker around the corner and I just stare at some posters hanging along the walls and twist my hair around my index finger.

"Like you don't know," Walt says.

"I really don't."

"Of course. You don't know anything. Listen, you go around all day and yell at people that look at you the wrong way."

"That's just making sure no one thinks they can mess with me, because they can't."

"That's exactly the point that I'm trying to make. You've even given people wedgies and tripped people and spit in someone's face-"

"I got a good reason for that and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it's a good mechanism. I just use your meanness to shield myself from other people."

"Really?"

"Yep. And I'd get more friends just like you just so that I can stay protected."

Walt has a point here.

"I don't like that."

"Hey, don't worry. I won't abandon you just because I'm surrounded by bad as--"

"Okay. I get it. I guess I'd want friends like that too."

RING!

The sound of the bell indicates the end of our 5 minute transition period.

I continue to look at the wall decorations as I begin to think about what they just said, but then I realize that that is the bell indicating the end of our minute transition period! (A/N: this was already said, I know, but I'm using it for Andrea's sudden realization of what that actually means)

I didn't even get my History books yet and I...I just lost my perfect classroom attendance.

I turn away from the walls just to see that everyone is still in the halls.

Okay. Wait. I think that was just the warning bell. I freaked out for nothing.

Well, I still don't want to be late to class so I may as well just go.

I start walking in the direction of my next class and notice that Raina and Walt start to walk behind me.

A girl starts to run down the hallway with a million and one things in her hands. She probably thinks she's late too. Poor thing.

And then when she's just close enough, I trip her.

She falls (almost) head first to the ground from what I can see in the corner of my eye. I continue walking.

"Excuse you!" She yells with the most venom I've ever heard. "You tripped me!"

I still walk and don't say anything to the girl. I don't even look back.

I don't feel great for what I just did, but I gotta get over myself. I gotta be bad as--

"The least you could do is apologize!"

--s.

No more just thinking about lunging on people, I've gotta start actually doing it.

"Ignore me then. You'll just get your karma and I hope it'll be good! You deserve it!"

Just as I'm rounding the corner I hear Walt.

"Now that's what I'm talking about! Whoooo!"