Recently Adjacent

(1) B- I'm Not the One.

"What is your problem?!"

If I was not dead right now, I'm pretty sure I was asleep.

"Watch out!" One of the animals from Back at the Barnyard (aka "my sweet children") yelled at me with a deafeningly squeeky voice.

I've noticed that that goes away with age, so I bet it was the youngest one- Mason-Abel, or just Mason.

Mason is an energetic child. Ever since he popped out, he just talk-a, talk-a, talks. Talk-a, talk-a...

I'm sure you get it.

He looks just like his mother- jet black, straight hair, long eyelashes, big ears, tan skin, crooked front tooth, gorgeous eyebrows, natural, hot pink lips, wide set eyes among many other things.

Xavier-Caleb (or "X") has all of the same features, except his ears aren't as big and he has a streak of brown hair in his head. It's just like his mom's, except his is at the side of his head, not the front.

And then there is Robin-McKenzie. I say it like a jealous school girl that's annoyed with someone they want to be, but I'm not jealous. I'm just annoyed. 14 years with a winy daughter is not exactly what I expected.

At 9 years old, X is the most mature of all of us and when I say "us" I mean me included.

Off topic though.

Robin-McKenzie likes her name and goes by just that. She has every feature that Mason has, except for her hair color. Hers is a strawberry blonde or rose gold color. It's pretty dark though, so that might come from her mother's side of the family.

I finally swerved out of the way of what I think was a drunk truck driver.

He crashed into the car behind us. It looked brutal.

Since I had somewhere to be, I called 911, told the operator the location of the accident and the truck driver's license plate and was on my way.

Through all of that, the animals couldn't care less!

"I have no problem."

"Then why are you dumping my fruit snacks on the floor?"

"Because you smacked me!"

"Only because you punched me! You deserved a punch back, heifer!"

I didn't react fast enough for the first exchange of words before X butted in and said, " *BEEP!* , I'm not the one", as cool as can be.

Never have I ever heard my 9 and 7 year olds curse before.

I made sure to step on the brakes real quick because they weren't wearing seat belts and I'm sure that them hitting their heads on the window or back of the seat or even flying out of the sun roof would be enough punishment.

I was wrong.

When I turned to look in the back, Robin was dumping all of Xavier's paint on to the floor of the car and on to him and Mason.

It was quiet for 2 seconds until Mason started crying, a mixture of pain from hitting his head on the window, being yelled at, and having paint dumped all over him... it's just a guess though.