I'm in a dark and scary place, all alone, just me my demons. Battling with these thoughts, just trying to find some meaning. Some will to live, I mean where's my will to survive? Everybody around me fighting to live and I just want to die? I'm so selfish, I know, I got so much to live for, yet everything inside me saying to die, fuck man, I'm torn. I overcame to the darkness a long, long ago, it took me from this happy kid to someone I don't even know. I used to be depressed, but now I'm not even sad, I feel numbness, almost like I'm content feeling bad. It's been months, and still, nothing's never changed, I've tried getting help but maybe it's just the way I'm arranged. I'm "disordered" I suppose, medication can't help, and therapy won't either because I don't even want to help myself. I'd rather be high, not think about where I am, then try to focus on me and what I can't understand. But these pills aren't working anymore, I've taken them too much, I take handfuls on handfuls, and still, not a touch. My mind tries to give up, just throw it all in and quit, but my body won't surrender, it won't stop fighting it. I just want to close my eyes and never wake up, maybe I'll try again, and maybe this time it will be enough.
