Captain America: The First Avenger

Chapter 12

It has been days since we lost Bucky. Steve has been isolating and blaming himself what Bucky's death. I know how much Bucky meant to him. He was my best friend too and I loved him. But I was worried about Steve. He wasn't himself anymore. As much as I want to cry out I had to be strong for him. 

I searched for him as I walked in a place where the houses were ruined. It was dark, cold and debris lying everywhere. I knew Steve was somewhere here grieving. 

As I continued to search for Steve when suddenly a man started reciting over the radio, "Blackout is still in effect throughout the London area.Please wait for the all-clear. Your attention, please. All citizens shall remain indoors until further notice." 

I need to find Steve quickly and bring him back in. I thought.

After searching around for a while I found him sitting inside one of the ruined house sobbing quietly. I was relieved that I had found him but my heart broke seeing him so much in pain. I wish I could take away all those pain from him. 

Upon hearing my footsteps, Steve turned around and sniffed wiping away his tears. 

He reached out for an alcohol bottle in front of him and poured it into a glass. "Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells." 

I gasped when I saw how badly he wanted to get drunk to get away from the pain. 

"Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means...I can't get drunk." He said weakly as he moved the glass in a circular motion.

"Did you know that?" he asked without looking at me. 

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects." I answered as I took a seat opposite to him. 

He continued to look down and refused to look into my eyes. 

"Listen to me Steve, it wasn't your fault." I said calmly. 

"Did you read the report?" he asked immediately. 

"Yes."

"Then you know that's not true." he said with a cracked voice trying to control his tears. 

"You did everything you could" trying to console him.

"Did you believe in Bucky?" I asked. 

He looked at me with those devastated eyes when I asked that question but did not respond. 

"Did you respect him?" I continued.

He looked at me waiting for my next words.

"Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Bucky the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it. Steve, we both loved him dearly and we will always do."

"I'm going after Schmidt." he replied looking at the glass he was holding. 

I did not say anything and waited for him to continue. 

"I'm not gonna stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured." 

"You won't be alone. I am coming with you." I added.

We sat there silently each grieving in our own way without saying any more words. 

"Johan Schmidt belongs in a bughouse. He thinks he's a god and he's willing to blow up half the world to prove it starting with the USA." Colonel Phillips said as he pointed at the map that was fixed on the wall in in front os us.