Take Me to the Water

PART 5 // Daddy

My father didn't speak for the first few days after my mother died, and Aunt Yvonne stayed over every night to help out with us.

Aunt Yvonne was the only family my mother had, so we didn't have to wait for people to come into town to have the funeral. We buried my mother the following Saturday. Pastor Green said we should make it a celebration since my mother was a believer in Christ. He said that my mother would have wanted that. Aunt Yvonne cursed at him and told him "You don't know what my sister would have wanted" and she refused to allow my mother's funeral to be a celebration. She wanted it to make a statement.

"My sister was murdered! And these sick bastards are still running around free! She didn't die of natural causes or sickness. She was raped and thrown in a ditch like garbage. What is there to celebrate?"

Uncle Calvin told Aunt Yvonne to show some respect for the Pastor and watch her mouth, but Aunt Yvonne didn't care who he was, and since my father wasn't speaking, she took charge of making the funeral arrangements.

"We are not going to celebrate my sister's death, and that is final!"

"We're not celebrating her death, Sister Yvonne. We're celebrating her life! Your sister lived a life unto God, and now she is at rest with him! She has the ultimate healing, and that's worth celebrating."

"With all do respect, Pastor, do not call me sister. I am not your sister. I am the sister of Camille Stokley Adams, and right now, she's laying up in a morgue. I do not care that she lived her life unto God. Where was he when those three men were beating the life out of her? Huh? Where was your God then?!"

Pastor Green had nothing, and for the first time since my mother passed, my father spoke.

"I would like the choir to sing Peace In The Valley."

Everyone turned their attention to my father who was still sitting in his chair, somewhat dazed.

"I'll sing with them," he said, not really looking at anyone. "I sang her into my life, so I'll sing her out of it."

Pastor Green nodded his head and patted my father on the shoulder.

*******

When we arrived at Shiloh that Saturday for my mother's funeral, we could barely get inside of the church. Hundreds of people from all over Georgia came to pay their respects. There was nowhere to park for miles, and the entire front lawn of Shiloh was filled with people. I had never seen anything like it. It was like a Hollywood red carpet premiere. You would have thought that my mother was the president, and we were the first family. Ushers had to clear a path to the front door of the church just so we could get inside. Some people wept and cried more than us. They touched Leah, my father and myself as we made our way through the chaos. It was madness.

When we finally got inside of the church, ushers escorted us down the center aisle to where my mother laid so peacefully in her casket. The choir sang Peace In the Valley just like my father asked, and he held me and Leah's hands as we walked one last time to our mother.

Every step I took felt heavier than the last. Halfway down the aisle, I froze and didn't want to go any further. Leah had her eyes closed the entire time as she walked. Tears were flowing from her face and she kept whispering over and over to herself, "God, your grace is sufficient. God, your grace is sufficient."

My father was stone cold. An usher gently pushed me forward so that I would keep walking. When we reached my mother's casket, I stood frozen. I examined her closely. She didn't look beat up at all anymore. She looked completely different from how she did in the hospital. She almost looked as if she was sleeping. She had on a pretty white gown and white gloves. Her hair was done up very nicely, and she had on her favorite lipstick. I wanted to touch her to see if she would wake up, but I didn't. I was afraid to. Aunt Yvonne came and stood next to me and she rubbed my back. I wanted her to go and rub Leah because Leah wouldn't stop crying, but she stayed near me.