Take Me to the Water

PART 4 // Mama

The ride to the store was silent. I was still upset, and I kept wondering if Leah was right.

Was I crazy? And if I wasn't, who was that woman and where did she go? And how did she know what I was thinking?

My mother rubbed my head, gently, and I looked to her as she drove.

"I'm sorry, Eve."

"Why are you sorry?" I said, with an attitude.

"Because I never want to control you. I want you to be free, and I should've let you express your emotions at home. And I also shouldn't have forced you to be baptized if you weren't ready. So for that I'm really sorry." She looked at me with a sweet smile on her face. "But I believe you, Evie. Whatever you say you saw, I believe it."

"Then why doesn't daddy or Leah or Pastor Green? They all think I'm crazy."

"We all have different levels of faith, baby. That's why the bible says according to your measure of faith. We all don't believe the same, and that's okay."

"So, was that an angel that told me Leah was going to die?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I have some guesses about who she was, but I could be wrong. She could have been someone operating in darkness who came to distract you from being baptized. She must know what will happen after you enter the water. Or she could have been a messenger trying to warn you about something to come. I don't know, but one thing I do know is that Pastor Green is no danger to this family. I would have seen it."

I believed my mother. She had never lied to me before, and she told me that she never would. She always promised me and Leah that there would never be any secrets between us, and anything we wanted to know about her, life, or God, she would tell us. So if she said Pastor Green was okay, I left it at that.

"Mama, are you God?"

My mother laughed. "No, I am not God, baby."

"Then why do you know things? And why do people want to be near you?"

"They just want to feel God, that's all, and God lives in me, just like he lives in you."

"If God lives in me, then how come I don't have power like you?"

"You can have power. It just all depends on you. If you ask God, he'll give it to you. But I'll warn you, be careful what you ask for. Power always comes at a price."

I didn't know what that meant, but I knew that my mother was the most amazing person I'd ever met, and I wanted to be just like her.

"I don't care what it costs. I want to be like you. I want power too."

My mother looked over to me with a smile, and I snuggled up next to her.

*******

We arrived at the market and moseyed through the isles looking for the cornmeal. I always loved my alone time with my mother. She made it a point to spend time alone with both me and Leah, and whenever it was my turn to be alone with her I felt like the most important person in the world. She held my hand and twirled me through the isles of the store. At random moments she'd wrap her arms around me and I could feel the love she had for me. I could feel that thing that everyone said they felt when she was near them. It was majestic, calming and warm, and I felt honored to be her daughter.

We grabbed the cornmeal and headed to the checkout line. The line was long, which was expected for a Sunday after church, and my mother braided my hair and hummed as we waited for it to move. I looked around at all of the candy and magazines nearby. I remember seeing an Ebony magazine with Aretha Franklin on the cover and wishing it was my mother instead. I felt like my mother could sing just as good as Aretha Franklin, and that she should be on a magazine cover too.