Dear Patience (n.j.h.)

chapter one,

Niall woke up to his alarm blaring on his nightstand and unlike each morning, he did not press the snooze button. 

He slowly got up and just sat in his bed looking across at the TV hanging on the light grey wall.  He groaned and got up before opening his curtains, letting the warm sunlight into his room.

After brushing his teeth and putting a shirt on, he went to the kitchen and made his usual avocado toast with black Starbucks coffee.

He placed himself on his couch, in front of his TV and watched Black Mirror. Pretty routine.

After one episode, Niall leans his head on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. 

"T'so boring," He groaned. So he decided to go grocery shopping.

After showering he left his apartment and went to Trader Joe's to buy ingredients to make ramen.

As the cool air from the store hit him on his way in, he made a list of ingredients he would need.

He scanned the store and his eyes rested on the tiramisu near the bakery. 

He sighed and picked up the container, memories flooding back. His ex-girlfriend Barbara loved tiramisu and he obviously missed her.

He closed his eyes tightly before grabbing his phone and dialling her number.

"Hey Barbara!" He said nervously. He honestly didn't expect her to pick up.

"Hi, Niall. What's up?" She said nicely.

"Nothing. Just checking in." He said awkwardly fidgeting.

"Niall." She said, this was a routine and she knew it.

"I know, I know." He pushed his floppy brown hair back.

"I'm dating Dylan." She continued.

"But I'm making ramen!" He winced after realizing how pathetic he sounded.

Barbara laughed. "I do love your ramen. But I,"

"You don't have to say it." Niall prepared himself.

"I love Dylan more."

"There it is." He winced. It never got easier.

"I'm sorry, Niall. We can always hang out, the three of us. But I'm afraid you need to take care of yourself right now."

"What do you mean? I'm doing perfectly fine." He scoffed. He looked down at his cart which had a total of 18 beers and two bags of Doritos. Not to mention the tiramisu. 

You're thriving, Niall. He said to himself.

"Niall. This is the fourth time you've called offering to make me- what I would know to be, a very delicious dinner." She laughed. "I honestly hate to have to hurt you with the reality that we're over but I know you're just lonely." She said softly.

Their relationship started off perfectly. But once they were in the thick of it, it was, well, stagnant. They didn't thrive like other couples did and she mostly didn't see a future with Niall.

"Niall, do you even want to be together? Honestly?" Barbara asked.

That had been their 4th fight that week. It was over the same thing. Niall was late for a date. Niall forgot to call her. Niall didn't remember their anniversary. There had been a disconnect.

Frankly, she was tired of feeling like she was dating someone who didn't know she was even there.

"What happened? We were so happy." She said and felt tears form in her eyes.

He just sat across from her. He didn't know how to console her, much less tell her to stay with him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"That's the thing, Niall. This should have been clear to you. We've been dating for almost a year now but you still don't remember the date? I still have to message you to call me? You show up late to my events? Niall. I know you're busy but if you wanted to be with me you'd put in the effort. So clearly, you're not interested." She finished ranting.

"Right?" She asked. She held her breath awaiting an answer.

He just nodded his head and looked at the floor.

There was nothing he could say to save their relationship and he honestly didn't want to. He knew he was too immature for someone like her so, he was just waiting for the end. 

She sighed, letting the tears roll down her face. Niall looked at his now ex-girlfriend. He didn't know why he was like this. He was so entranced by Barbara when they first met so shouldn't he be working to keep her happy?

Barabara wiped the tears off her face. Her eyes now red and puffy, tears still prominent.

"Well then." She said and grabbed her purse before she left the apartment.

"Alright, Barb. Thanks for putting up with me." Niall said in defeat as he continued around the store.

"Anytime. Remember, take care of yourself." She added.

"Right, right. You, too." He responded and hung up. He sighed and looked at his sad, sad cart.

"Well, looks like it's just me and me." He said to himself and continued down the aisle of snacks forgetting all about the ramen.

His inspiration for cooking or any relatively healthy lifestyle left when she hung up.

Well, that was until he saw a very attractive woman in the pasta aisle. Suddenly he had quite the motivation to make pasta.

* * *

woohoo, love updating in the middle of the morning.

anyways, hope you all liked it.

is nialler a player??? wooaah. crazy.

<3 stay safe.