RAINDROPS

Chapter 16

I'm in the backseat of our car. My mom is driving and my dad is in the passenger seat. The two of them look happy, but tired. 

'I had fun tonight.' My mom says to my dad while smiling.

'Me too. We should really take Ally with us some time.' he answers. 'Maybe once she learns to drive, then both of us can have a drink for once.' My parents always take turns with who has to stay sober, that way they can always come home safe.

'I would love to come with you!' I tell them enthusiastically. They both look out the front window, still smiling. But they don't answer me. I follow their gaze and see that it's dark outside, the road barely visible. Thankfully the weather is calm.

'Did you get enough information for your story?' my mom asks my dad. 

'I think I did. I'll make something of it.' he says. He was always creative with using the information he got. I loved to help him think of motives.

'We should call Ally, right?' my mom says now. 'I want to check if she's alright.'

'Relax honey,' my dad answers. 'She's probably already asleep. You'd only be waking her up.' Wait... Waking me up?

'But I'm right here, Dad!' I yell. 'Mom? Dad? Can you hear me?' Both of them ignore me. I hear my mom laugh slightly.

'You know our girl. She's probably still doing homework or something.' my mom says.

'Didn't she tell you she was going to watch a movie?' my dad asks her. 

'Well yes, but has she not said that before, while still doing homework?' 

'Fair enough, you might be right. It's still better than the other way around.'

They both laugh, but then my mom gets somber and sad suddenly.

'I know, it's just... Sometimes I wish she didn't. She almost has no friends and never does anything. I love her like crazy, but I'm just afraid she doesn't love her life. I'm afraid she won't live her life.' she says.

'I get it. I'm really proud of her. I just want her to be happy, that's all.'

'Me too.' 

They stare out of the window again, not really smiling this time.

'I was happy!' I yell, trying to get through to them. 'Can't you hear me?!' This time they don't answer either, it's like I'm completely invisible and they can't hear me.

Wait a second... I told her I was going to watch a movie the night they... the night that they died.

'Mom! Dad!' I yell again. No reaction.

I know they can't hear me, but this is the closest I've been to being able to talk to them since it happened. So I just let everything out, everything that I've been wanting to say to them. More than what I was able to say at their graves the other day.

'I need a hug from you. My head hurts, there is a storm going on up there and I can't stop it. I'm just so tired and I want to cry. I've been trying so hard but it just hurts. It still hurts. And I don't know what to do about it. I feel terrible. Every day I try to put a smile on my face and act as if everything is alright but its not. I'm not alright. No matter what my friends tell me, no matter what a song tells me. I'm just so tired of all the shit I have to deal with everyday. All the things I have to do, decisions I have to make and I feel alone in that. Above all I miss you. I just wish things had gone differently. I just wish I had called when I didn't get a message. I just wish I'd have done something so that you would still be here.' The tears start rolling down my face.