Daughter of the Games (Sequel to Pregnant in the Games)

Chapter 23: Losing

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Ivan's POV:

How do you save somebody that doesn't want to be saved?

I love Grey. I love her so much. I loved her before she was even born, and I've loved her every moment since then. Why does she have to be sick? Why does she have to die? She doesn't deserve any of this! If anyone deserves to live, it's her.

And she can't see herself that way.

I know Grey well enough to understand that I can't change her mind. She's stubborn, and she's made her decision. Throwing the vial of medicine against the tree proved that to me. And while I want to do anything I can to save her, I know I can't, because she'll never let me.

But what's the alternative? Watching her die?

Do I have any other choice?

I've thought of every alternative. Begging the sponsors for more medicine and forcing it down her throat. Giving her the ultimate guilt-trip until she changes her mind, where I will tell her how empty my life would be without her, how she would be leaving me alone in this world, how I've only ever lived for her, and dying would take my life away, too.

Grey hasn't been the same since Kyla's death. Looking back, I can see that Grey had some strange behaviors. I should've picked up on what she was planning. But now that Kyla's gone, now that Grey's feeling guilty, she's striving for her death. She's truly suicidal, as opposed to just sacrificial.

"We should stay here, make it our home-base," Ni said after the slow, silent walk back to the willow tree. No one had said a word since Grey threw a vial.

"It won't be easy," Chris said. "It's a big area, which means we have a lot to guard."

"And it's really exposed. It makes it easy for anyone to attack that wishes to. It would require a lot of dedication and a lot of defense," Grey replied, speaking for the first time.

I fixated my focus on her. It's as if she's aged ten years in the time we've been here. Her eyes are sunken in and her cheek bones are too defined. Her skin is pale. Her eyes don't shine the way they used to, and her hair appears to be thinning. I can't tell if it's a result of her sickness or the emotional toll. Maybe both. And there's nothing I can do to help.

"But it's comfortable. It's warm. There's a water source at our fingertips. And as long as we stick together, I'm confident that we can get through this unscathed."

Grey snorted and crossed her arms. "Unscathed? Really? Sure, maybe you guys could defend until it's just the three of you. But then what? Someone has to win."

I flinched on the word three. She's speaking as if she's already dead.

"How about we worry about that when we get there?" Ni replied, his temper rising.

"I'm not suggesting that you kill each other," Grey spoke softly this time, less abrasive. "I'm just being a realist."

Ni sighed. "How about you go by the tree and get some rest? You've had a long day."