Letters to Juliet

Juliet

   The ride to the hospital is long and painfully silent. I think both Devon's mom and I wanted to comfort each other, but we didn't know each other enough to do it without being awkward.

   So we just sat quietly in the car and cried. It was one of the worst rides of my life.

   I find myself getting more and more nervous as we get closer to the hospital. What if he doesn't wake up..? What if he does, and he doesn't want to see me? What if he hates me?

   What if... What if I lose him?

    I regret this thought immediately. There's no way I can lose someone who was never mine. Someone I could never have. Someone I could never deserve.

    The tears come flowing harder, hot reminders that this my fault. That in caused this.

    If I hadn't done that.. If I had followed him... If I'd told Brandon no...

     Its getting harder to breathe. And I'm trying so hard to keep quiet. His mother should be the one in this much pain. Not me. She gave birth to him. She's his mom. I'm not.. I'm the stupid girl who ran him off in the first place.

    I feel a light touch on my elbow, and I jump. I look over at his mom, and she's holding out her arms. It hits me then that I have no reason... No right.. To be crying. To be letting her comfort me. I don't even know her name.

    I fall into her arms and we cry together for the rest of the ride.