Letters to Juliet

Dear Juliet

Dear Juliet.

Today on the bus ride home, I couldn't stop thinking about what  you said. Which honestly isn't a surprise, but this time I was worried about what you meant by it.

I didn't want you to do anything drastic about something you said when you weren't thinking straight. And clearly you weren't. To say that you'd wait for me was definitely drastic.

 I sat alone in my seat, wondering if you were serious, and half hoping you were. I can't help how I feel about you, but I care about you too much to let you ruin your life over me. If you stop dating Brandon, not only will he be mad at me, he'll be mad at you too. And some of your friends will leave you just because you lost some cool points with Brandon. 

I can't let that happen. It's not like I'm trying to be noble or anything, but I don't want to see you get hurt. Ugh. I think I'm repeating myself.

When the bus came to my stop, I walk all the way up from the back where I sit. Someone throws a ball of paper at me, and it hits me in the head. I ignore it as 2 or 3 more follow.

They were nice today. Usually there are a lot more.

I climb off the bus and my feet blow up a small puff of dirt as they touch the ground. I trudge to my house slowly, still pondering all the day's events. I pull out my keys to unlock the door, but it's already unlocked.

That's not good. Mom always keeps the door locked. The drugs make her paranoid. I tried to get up enough money by working the graveyard shift at a gas station to send her to rehab, but I'm only halfway there because I have to pay for most of the bills and food. Mom has a job, but it's not a very good one.

I guess its safe. If you have no problem with having your mom bringing random guys back home every night because she can't afford a hotel. Yeah. She's a prostitute. But you learn to live with it. just like I learned to live with her drug addiction. She pays for it with her job.

That's how I came to be. My dad was some rich CEO jerk who decided that he didn't another kid. Especially one that was never supposed to happen. Yeah, that's me. The mistake.

Anyway, I never bring anyone home. And Mom always keeps the door locked. So it was weird that it was unlocked when I got here. I opened the door and walked inside. What I saw scared me. A lot.

Inside, my mother was sprawled on the kitchen floor, gasping for breath and shivering. 

"Mom!" I scream, dropping my things and running to her side before falling to my knees beside her.

I begin to shake and cry. I'd always expected this to happen; I just hoped it wouldn't.

I fumble my phone out of my pocket and dial 911 shakily.

The operator picks up and I scream our address and the words "Overdose" into the phone before dropping it and trying to wake my mother. I shake her arm and pat her face, trying to listen for her shallow breaths.

I jump when the doorbell rings and I yell, "Come in!" I thought it was the paramedics and I say "It's about time you guys got here.." Then I see who it is.

You look surprised. "Were you expecting someone..Whoa! Dev, what happened to your mom!" You step forward and lean down, reaching for her neck. You were probably trying to feel for a pulse but i didn't care. I slapped your hand away and pulled my mom's head onto my lap. You look genuinely hurt. "Let me help her Devin."

"No." I say. "Don't touch her. Because if you touch her, it becomes real." I sob and glance up at you. "She's all I have." I look down in shame and you sink to your knees beside me. You grab my hand and entwine our fingers. "Let me help, Dev. This is happening. This is real. But I can help her."

I sigh shakily and release my mom, lowering her head gently back to the floor. You take her pulse and listen for her breathing. Then you sigh in relief and nod to me. She's alive."

The medics arrived before I could reply, and they burst into the room with all their equipment. You pull me to my feet and we stand back. You hold my hand the whole time, hugging me around the chest. Its oddly calming and I stop crying.

They wheel my mom away on a stretcher and put her into the ambulance. "You coming, son?" A tall man with a mustache asks me as he holds the door open. I nod numbly and walk towards the van.

"Your girlfriend can't come. We don't have room. Say goodbye now then join us. And hurry."

I don't have the energy to correct him so I just nod and turn to thank you. Before I can get any words out, you lean up and wrap your arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

"Call me as soon as you can and tell me how she is, okay?" You whisper as you pull back and press my phone into my hands. You must have picked it up before we walked outside.

"Thank you." I say. "For..everything."

You nod and hesitate before standing on your tippy toes and placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. "You're welcome." You say, and shove me towards the ambulance.

"You better go. Mustache looks mad." I laugh dryly and climb into the ambulance.

The last thing I see is you waving through the window as we speed away.