Thought She Meant The World To Me

Chapter XXXIII

{A/N: these roman numerals are starting to conFUSE ME! Yeah, yeah, you don't care you either didn't read this at all or you're thinking: get to the story already! Well, here we go. Remember, you asked for it.}

"So much for our plans later." I mutter, rolling over in my duvet burrito. I haven't stopped wallowing in self-pity since I arrived home. How could I be so stupid? Seriously though, where was my brain? Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again: this man makes my brain jump out a window. Fuuuck I just want to take it back. Do you understand how awkward tomorrow is going to be now? Oh lord, Jesus Christ above just take me now, before I have to go through that. There's a knock on my door and I really don't want people to see my flushed, stained cheeks. Yes, I was crying. Like I said, those boys are the best thing in my life right now, I can't afford to lose them. I came home to a complete brawl between my sister and step dad. And the only thing I could think of doing, was going to the Fuentes'. Since I clearly can't do that, it really hit me how tough this is going to be. I ended crying over any and everything. At one point I was sobbing over how perfect Mike's skin tone is and how pale I am in comparison to the brothers. So, yes, everything. I am an emotional teenager after all, can you really blame me? Didn't think so.

"Kellin! What the fuck open up! It's 8:30pm I know you're not asleep." Kailey calls.

"What do you want?" I yell back. Just leave me to shrivel and die, I think to myself, please.

"Just open up already." She adds. "Its important." I sigh and groan internally, unravelling from my comfortable cocoon. If this is anything other than a life or death situation, I might just steal that air horn at four in the morning tonight. I flick the lock on my door, and don't even bother to open it for her before turning back around and heading to my bed. I immediately fall onto it again, face-first this time. What ungodly hell is awaiting me now?

"Kels." I hear from across the room. It takes a minute to register in my mind what's going on, since I was expecting a girl's voice, but eventually everything clicks.

"Fuck." I say into my blanket. I feel the weight on the bed move and soon after, a hand clasps my own, our fingers intertwining, and I let them. But I don't hold his warm hand back.

"Did you really mean it today?" He asks softly. I don't even hesitate before nodding my head. I meant more than what it sounded like. I don't just love him, I'm in love with him. He holds my heart and soul in his hands, and I gave him the power to do as he wishes with them both. He starts fiddling with my fingers and I feel anxiety bubbling inside. Well, at least I'm not crying anymore. After a nice comfortable silence, he speaks again.

"Kellin, I-"

"Don't." I interrupt, lifting my head from the sheets. I honestly have no idea what he wanted to say. But I do know that no matter which phrase he chooses, it'll be our form of a breakup. "I know what you're going to say. So just, please don't say it." And I let my head collapse onto the bed again.

"What was I going to say?" He asks, brushing through my hair lightly. He's being so gentle, too gentle. It's obvious he's going to break me. Or at least throw a hard blow.

"I don't know exactly, but something along the lines of 'Kellin, I was thinking. I think we should probably stop what we're doing before anyone gets hurt.'" I say into the blanket, although it comes out clear as crystal.

"Actually," He says, "That's not it at all."

My head pops off the covers again and my wide eyes lock with his calm ones. "What?"

"Kellin, I was thinking." He says, repeating my words with a small smirk on his face. "And I-"

"Are you guys done here? Kellin, dad's outside and wants to see you." My sister interrupts from the door. He's WHAT!? My sister and I both call my step father Rick, so there's no way it's him. She means my actual biological father. I tighten my hand around Vic's finally, and he tightens them back. They're well hidden from my sister by the covers.