Highest Bidder

Chapter 19: The Place I Fit

Head pounding.

Fuck.

I can barely move. My whole body is on fire. Moving my head slightly I notice a balloon above my head. It's a heart shaped balloon that is sparkly red and pink. I follow the string down. A smile comes to my face. The string is tied around a small yellow dog and the dog is sitting on a pack of Reese Cups.

Helen.

Speaking of? I look beside me and curled under the hospital blanket and wrapped around my right arm is Helen. I look towards the door. People are passing. Doctors, nurses, patients, and visitors- all passing by and all taking small glances in at me and my visitor. She probably didn't mean to be in the bed. She probably just crawled in and sat down to be with me and then fell asleep. She's not going to be too happy when she realizes her mistake. She has a tiny eyelash on her cheek. I can hardly move my right hand because she's clinging to it and I definitely can't move my left. So I decide to lightly blow at the eyelash, hoping that just enough will take it off her cheek without waking her up.

"Mmm?"

Too late.

I close my eyes and turn my head. Pretending to be asleep. Just as I feel she went back to slumber, I feel a small breeze on my eye. I can't help but squint and smile.

"Nice try. Faker." She quietly says and kisses my cheek. I open my eyes and turn my head just enough to see her. "Max, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Just let her go. It'll be better for her.

"You have 8 staples in your head, three pins in your arm and a dislocated knee cap on top of a serious concussion- you babe- are far from fine." Babe? Huh, she's just being nice.

"Who got me the treats?" I nod to the balloon and the other things. She smiles and looks down at my hand she has in hers.

"Someone who is beyond sorry and wants to apologize for a lot of things." What does she have to be sorry for? It's not like she pushed me down those stairs.

"You don't have too. Honestly."

"I need too." He voice cracks slightly as she looks up at me. I've never seen her like this. So emotional and fragile almost. It breaks my heart. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I...I did blame you...slightly for what happened."

My eyes close. I knew it.

"I know you had nothing to do with it, but at the time it was easier blaming you for not being with me than blaming the fact that I made several mistakes that night that could have prevented it from happening the way it had." Her lip is quivering and her right hand fists my dressing robe. "I realized why you were upset with me and I wish I would have realized it earlier that day and addressed it. You heard that Lauren was being my surrogate...I assume that's why you were mad and upset."

"Yes..."

"I have to tell you the truth though and you can't tell a single soul. Promise?" I nod and she sits up a bit more, wincing as her bottom rests more on the bed. "The Tuesday we came back from Valentine's Day and you found her blood tests- she really is pregnant but she's not my surrogate."

I'm so confused.

"She and someone- who can't know she's pregnant- made a stupid decision the week prior to having sex and she ended up pregnant. She didn't want the guy to know because it would ruin several relationships- so I allowed her to use the idea that it was my baby and at the end of her pregnancy I was just going to let her keep it because I would see how attached she was to the life growing inside her. I was going to tell you- honestly. It just slipped my mind after a while and that morning I saw you upset it didn't even occur to me that you would have heard about the arrangement." It was all just a misunderstanding of another selfless act of hers. I sigh and stare at the ceiling. "Among other things, I haven't been very kind or caring to you."