WHERE ARE YOU CHARLIE?

BEFORE I

It was a sunny day.

I had completed all my chores so I decided to go for a walk in the woods behind our house.

I had been walking for less than five minutes when the first gunshot was fired.

I turned around and saw Charlie and Bindy, our cousin, with rifles in their hands.

I frowned at their malicious expressions. Things were like in slow motions when Charlie slowly raised his weapon and aimed it my way before pulling the trigger.

It was just like in a cartoon and I saw all the tiny pieces of lead heading my way. I don't know what finally got me to run away, probably some inner self-preservation instinct I was unaware of, but I did.

Even when a sharp pain coursed through my arm as a few pieces hit me, I ran.

When they started shooting at me again, I knew that I not only had to run even faster but that I also desperately needed to find a good hiding place.

I ran for hours before, totally exhausted, I decided to hide in one of the small caves at the bottom of the hill that overlooks the woods behind our house.

Out of breath and shaking like a leaf, I crawled inside the dark and humid place and pulled my legs to my chest. I knew it wouldn't be long before they found me so, feeling defeated, I closed my eyes and waited for whatever they had in store for me.

xxxx      xxxx

"Wake up!" I was shaken roughly by somebody who was blinding me with a torch.

I rubbed the sleep off my eyes and blinked several times, not sure of what was happening.

When I looked up again, I recognized Charlie's piercing blue eyes, but my initial relief was soon replaced by a deep sense of dread, as I finally remembered what had got me there in the first place.

"Jim is mad at you, Zoe..." His voice was devoid of emotions like every time he was carrying our father's orders. "Dinner should have been served an hour ago..." He added.

I shuddered at the thought of what was to come, but wordlessly stood up and walked out of the cave.

He didn't say a word and followed me noiselessly.

My arm seemed to be on fire and my entire body was aching from the earlier chase but I knew better than to complain.

Once in the kitchen I immediately started peeling the potatoes. It was Tuesday, so Jim expected mash potatoes and sausages.

Dinner was ready an hour later and they all sat noisily around the old wooden table.

I took my plate and went to eat in the laundry room.

Once they were gone, I went to clean everything up before heading to the tiny bedroom I shared with Charlie.

I took my bloodied sweater off and gasped when I saw the state of my arm.

I poured hot water in a basin, grabbed a bottle of alcohol, some cotton, plasters, and a small pair of tweezers, and sat down at our tiny desk.

I then proceeded to clean the blood off before removing each bit of lead. I carefully disinfected the wounds with alcohol and covered them with plasters.

I changed into my sleeping shorts and tank top and went to lie down on the small mattress in the corner of the room. I curled into a tight ball and closed my eyes, hoping tomorrow would be better.

I was fast asleep when somebody yanked me out of my covers. Smelling cold cigarette and whisky, I shrank into myself.

Jim had come in person to deliver my punishment.

He violently pulled my top off my trembling body and threw me on the dining room table where I landed painfully on the stomach.

He was about to hit me fifty times with the thin, flexible stick I had learnt to hate, so I clenched my hands and my teeth, and closed my eyes imagining I was at school listening to a teacher droning on and on about some obscure scientific topic the students around me didn't even try to grasp. I imagined Malone Dythers throwing a paper plane across the class making everybody giggle, Cindy Colton playing with the end of her ponytail while gawking at Lewis Loyds, Sam Fields and Cole Bradford talking about their next game of football or basketball, while Winny Prat and Gaspar Bunt wrote down every single word the teacher was uttering to make sure they would get an A on their next test.

I was still picturing what my classmates were up to when he threw me back on the small mattress.

I must have fainted at some point because the next thing I knew, Charlie was ever so gently rubbing some soothing cream on my now swollen streaked back.

I smiled at this nice attention.

He loves me, I thought. He loves me.