✔️soulmates • Chan x reader✔️

40 ⭐

I let out a sigh, pacing around in the room. I was glad those two made up, but now I just felt guilty about what happened with Jisung. He was right. It wasn't fair to him. And even if I couldn't turn it back, even though I was telling the truth, even though I didn't meant to, I hurt him. He had always been there for me, and I repaid him by hurting him.

Changbin and Felix looked from each other to me, back and forth. "Y/N, go" Changbin said, pulling me out of my daze. "Wait, what? Where?" Felix shook his head, continuing where Changbin started. "To Jisung of course. I know you want to see him, so stop overthinking and just go to him." I looked at both Changbin and Felix, still in shock.

They both stood up, literally pushing me out the door. "Believe me, if you taught me anything is that you need to talk about things, so don't you dare not use your own advice now and chicken out" Felix teased, making me even more embarrassed, but he was right. I needed to talk to Jisung. Determination took over me. "I'll talk to you guys later!" I yelled before running off.

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I was completely out of breath when I arrived at the cabin. I swung the door open, revealing a seriously shocked Jisung. "Jisung" I panted, trying to catch my breath. This all seemed like a great idea just a minute ago, but I completely shut down. The words just didn't seem to come out, instead only tears fell down upon seeing his worried face. "I'm so sorry" was all I could say, over and over.

Jisung walked up to me, taking me in his arms. "I think we both said some things we didn't mean... let's calm down first, I actually really wanted to talk to you." He sat me down on the couch, giving me a glass of water and wiping my tears away. "Jisung, I-" I tried to say, but Jisung cut me off by silently placing his finger on his lips.

"I'm sorry, but please let me go first, otherwise I'm not sure if I can go through with this." I just nodded silently, growing more anxious by the second. "First of all, I'm sorry for lashing out on you, it wasn't fair. I was just scared of losing you I guess. I was scared of what they did to you, I was scared you'd leave me for Chris, and instead of keeping you close I just pushed you away by forcing you to talk about it...."

He took a deep breath. "But I came to realize something. You might not even realize it, but you're in love with Chris. Constantly thinking about him, your heart beating faster with him, even if you don't want to, you're meant to be together with him." He stopped, looking at me. He smiled, but I'd never in my life seen a smile sadder than his.

"God, I love you so much Y/N, and I always will, but this will just break us both." I vigorously shook my head. "Wait Jisung, please don't do this. I don't care about Chris, I love you. I need you." Jisung pushed my hair back keeping that sad smile. "I know you do, but the love you feel for me isn't the same you feel for him. Your heart always belonged to him, and I can't change that. No matter how much I love you, I'll be no match for him."

We both fell quiet. He had sat everything there was to say, and I was just at loss for words. I thought I could be happy with just him, and even though I was, why didn't it seem to be enough? Because if it really was I wouldn't have thought about Chris even once, even a fool knows that. "I'm so sorry Jisung" I finally said, again, as if those words were all I had left in my body. Jisung laughed silently, rubbing my hair. "Stop saying that, I was already expecting this anyways"

He stood up, walking to the kitchen to get something to drink. "You should probably go talk to him. Whether you want to or not, he still has your heart right? Maybe you still have his too." My heart started pounding faster. "I guess all I thought about was wanting to hate him for what he did, so I never really thought about it anymore." I concluded for myself.

I stood up as well. "Jisung... Is this really happening?" Was this really our goodbye? Jisung put down his glass, walking back to me. He pulled me closer, holding me for one last time, connecting our lips for one last time. He slowly backed away, his sad smile still there, but now with tears silently falling down as well. "It's for the best... I know I promised you we'd get through this together, and that I'd always be with you, but today I'm breaking that promise so go find your happiness."

I connected our lips once more. "Thank you for everything Jisung... I really loved you."

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Jisung watched the love of his life run out. He finally took that stupid smile of his off his face, his whole body crying with him. He couldn't get close enough to her, he couldn't hold on to her. Don't leave me was what he wanted to scream over and over, scared that if she would move further away he'd fall apart, but it was too late. She was too far away to reach.

He felt like a fool, because he couldn't live without her. He should have put another step towards her, stay on track. He thought that if he could only love her enough she could forget about Chris. They could be happy together, forever. They were happy, but the forever part wasn't meant to be. They weren't meant to be.

He had heard Chris talking about it thousands of times, that thing called soulmates. He personally didn't believe it, but everything that he heard Y/N say, indicated that maybe it was real. But he wasn't hers. No matter how she tried to be happy with him, it would never be good enough for her, he'd just be taking away her real happiness, the was she was meant to have. So how could he be so selfish and hold on to her?

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you deserve Y/N."