Well summer was easy, I didn't have to worry about friends, school, or anything really. You can say that I lost a great amount of my friends at school, to this day I'm not even sure I have any, last time I talked to any of them was over a month ago. But that's ok, I have Nick, he has PANDAS which is very similar to PANS, and we talk like 24/7 he basically knows everything in my life and I know whats going on in his too.
But now I had to go back to school, I hadn't told anyone about my diagnosis, Im not even sure anyone would care or understand.
PANS also messed up the learning center in my brain, so suddenly I was in all special ed classes. That's not who I was, and its not who I am or will ever be, and that's the most frustrating part. I am a perfectionist, and when suddenly everything in your life becomes everything but perfect, well thats hard to accept.
So when school started I tried.
I tried to make new friends, but these 2 years of being the most anti social human being on earth brought my self esteem so low that couldn't get myself back up, even if I tried.
I tried to do good in school, but as I said before it was impossible.
I tried to get along with my family, but you can't imagine the kind of pain they have been through, and its the kind that makes you stronger, but not always in a good way. I think my parents had been worried about me for too long, and that had almost changed their personality, what I'm trying to say is that I couldn't get along with them. Maybe it was me, my irritability and my mood that kept us from being the family we used to be.
But I still tried.
YOU ARE READING
A lot can happen in a year, but I never expected this.
No FicciónPANS stands for Pediatric Acute Autoimmune Syndrome, the disease i was diagnosed with in April 2014 after a year of not knowing what was wrong. Researchers are only beginning to study and understand this syndrome, and therefore there are a lot of un...
