A Life Worth Living (Aizawa x OC)

5 - Torn Apart

The words of her visitors were stuck in Himari's head like an old crusty gum under one of these stereotypical shabby school desks. The brunette couldn't stop thinking about the principal's unexpected offer.

A strange feeling in her gut urged her to trust Nezu and Recovery Girl, even though she knew that it was entirely irrational and naïve to confide in two complete strangers.

After all, it was still highly suspicious how much they knew about her. All of this could turn out as a trap, and it wouldn't be surprising at all.

Still in a state of utter disbelief because of Nezu, Himari mulled, not entirely sure how to deal with the situation she found herself in.

Naturally, two obvious options were available – either to accept or decline it politely. It wasn't that difficult, yet she strained her thoughts as she pondered on the dilemma she was in.

That's when she was blessed by a moment of epiphany, realizing that Nezu seemed to have carefully planned this project. What if he was the reason for her sudden awakening? What if he pulled the strings to get her out of the deep slumber she'd been in?

Although she hadn't left her room once since she'd regained her consciousness, it didn't escape her notice that the ward she was accommodated in radiated an extremely creepy aura. It felt like something was off. She hadn't heard any sounds confirming that there were other patients apart from her.

The only people that were usually around were the nurses. Himari hadn't spotted a doctor yet, which was definitely weird, considering that she hadn't even received any information about her state. There hadn't been a health check or examination after she'd woken up. She'd been left alone with her breakdown, causing her to question the place she was in.

The thought that she would probably have to remain here if she declined Nezu's proposal was haunting her mind. It was unbearable. Being caged in her plain prison cell was something she wanted to avoid at all costs.

But then again...accepting his offer meant to allow him to use her as a test subject for what probably could be described as social rehabilitation project.

Himari's mind was torn apart.

On the one hand, she was certain that she was done with everything. She had lost everything. Even if she tried to get over what had happened, she was convinced that she'd fail for sure. How could she just continue without Kaito? After that night...especially since she was the one at fault for his absence.

She couldn't even put her pain into words. There were no words to describe how much she missed him. A piece of her had been ripped out of her chest. A piece of her was gone with him. Her heart felt like it had been set on fire and the flames continued to eat her alive.

On the other hand, Nezu's offer managed to make her furious. His words had given her the impression that she was wrong. That there was still something like hope for her, even if it was only a small spark – probably the smallest spark imaginable.

But no matter how small it was, it was there, and it was striking roots in her. The thought that she might be able to somehow continue was gradually superseding the toxicity in her mind.

What if Recovery Girl was actually able to help her to recover? What if, no matter how unlikely it seemed, she could learn to cope with her loss? What if she could earn her redemption, the one she owed to Kai, by doing something valuable instead of moulding away in this gloomy room?

It was Nezu's fault that thoughts like these had manifested in her mind. She'd never wanted someone to raise her hopes. It was too risky. What if she gave her all just to realize that it was a hopeless cause in the end?