roommates // na jaemin

6 | make me

september 23rd, 2019

8:45 pm

i had just finished brushing my teeth and i was getting ready to lay down in bed when i heard jaemin's voice calling for me from the other side of the room.

i was hesitant to talk to him after the incident today; worried my own feelings had gotten the best of me. i didn't want to look into his eyes anymore, i didn't want to feel his hands grab mine, i didn't even want to be near him, but i knew that would be impossible. we were roommates after all.

i was sure that jaemin was just a natural born flirt. i never understood people like him though. did they not realize it's not necessarily a good thing to constantly pull on people's heart strings? especially vulnerable people like me. people who were so starved for love that whenever they got the tiniest bit of it they started to crave a whole lot more.

     jaemin's voice became louder as he called out again.

     "yujin-ie, is there a reason you've been so quiet today?" he questioned. i knew he was grinning to himself. i didn't even have to look.

     "no reason i particular," i replied, tucking the blankets on my bed over my shoulders.

     "liar," jaemin muttered, adding on a soft giggle at the end.

i rolled over so i wasn't facing him. i shut my eyes tightly and prayed i would fall asleep quickly. i did not feel like dealing with jaemin's teasing tonight.

     "so you're just going to ignore me then, yujin-ie?" jaemin asked. i hated it when he called me 'yujin-ie.'

     "aish jinjja~ i know you're dying to talk to me," the boy taunted. his deep, gravelly voice started to make my heart flutter.

     "ahh, it makes me sad when you ignore me," jaemin pleaded. he started to fake cry, but i didn't say one word.

     i became annoyed when he continued to poke fun at me. my blood started to boil and eventually i couldn't take it anymore. i sat up and clenched my hands into fists. every emotion i had kept inside of me was finally released, and i began to yell at jaemin with everything in me.

     "yah! what is wrong with you? you think it's funny to play with my heart like this?" i shouted at him until i couldn't breathe. i started to feel lightheaded from getting so upset.

     jaemin and i both stood up at the same time. he headed over towards me, but i stormed away from him. it didn't take long for my anger to return though, and i turned around to jaemin and hollered at him once again.

     "don't follow me, don't come near me, don't try and fix anything! i'm sick of y-" my sentence was cut off short by his hand slamming down on the wall behind me.

     "shut up," jaemin laughed and started to shake his head. he was inches away from me, and his glistening brown eyes were staring into mine.

     "make me then!" i angrily spoke without thinking.

     jaemin suddenly grabbed both of my wrists and held them above my head, pinning me against the wall. he was so close that i could feel his warm breath race across my lips, and the tips of his hair tickled my forehead. he never let his eyes off mine, and i noticed his lips curve into a small smile.

     my heart started to race and i blushed more than i ever had before. i had no choice but to match jaemin's intense gaze, though my heart felt like it was going to burst as soon as my eyes met his.

     "don't make me kiss you," jaemin threatened.

     i stayed silent and gulped. i was at a loss for words. we maintained eye contact for a good amount of time and i felt the world stop. jaemin charmingly blinked his eyes once more before closing them and leaning in closer towards me.

     i panicked and turned my head away, kicking jaemin off of me. i felt horrible, but my reflexes got the best of me.

     "i'm sorry," i apologized in a croaky voice. i brought my hands up to my face and started to rub my temples.

     jaemin glanced up at me and sighed. "you're different," he murmured before turning away and walking back to his bed. i couldn't read what emotion was on his face, but it didn't seem to be a happy one.

     i stayed where i was, too shocked to move. i watched jaemin lay down and let out a big yawn while stretching. he ran his hands through his messy brown hair and i thought i noticed a bit of pink cross his cheeks. the boy looked up towards me and pressed his lips into a fine line.

     "you should get to bed. it's getting late," was all he said before rolling onto his stomach.

     i hesitated for a moment before following his advice. i laid down in my bed, wide awake, thinking about everything that had just happened and trying to make some sense out of it.

     i grabbed my phone off my nightstand and opened the messenger app. i clicked on my conversation with jiwon and started to type.

jiwon-ie 👯‍♀️❤️

yujin
you wouldn't believe what just happened to me.

     i stared at the message i just sent, reading it over and over again before deciding to unsend it.

     she doesn't need to know, how would i even tell her? i thought, though i knew it would be much harder to keep this as a secret to myself.

     i started to think about jaemin. my thoughts about him were bittersweet. i enjoyed replaying every moment we shared together in my head, but at the same time i wanted to erase all of them.

     what kind of power did this boy possess? i've never felt this way before. i've never been more confused about my own feelings.

     curse you na jaemin. curse you.

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A/N: ok this chapter is so bad sjdhdjd maybe i'll come back and fix it up later but it's 1 am and i'm tired. ok bye :))