roommates // na jaemin

9 | beautiful

september 28th, 2019

11:36 pm

     after what felt like forever, jaemin and i finally made it back to the dorm. luckily, i woke myself up when we arrived, so jaemin wouldn't even try to jokingly carry me to our room.

     i heaved a sigh of relief and flopped onto my bed. my body felt heavy and i barely had the energy to change into my pajamas. jaemin walked over to his side of the room and laid down on his mattress as well. he looked a bit disappointed, but i wasn't so sure as to why. it seemed like he had a great night.

"so you didn't have fun?" jaemin suddenly questioned me.

     "not exactly..." i mumbled in response.

     i glanced over to the boy, and i noticed that he was running his hands through his hair. it didn't take long for jaemin to notice me staring, and he slowly rose to his feet before wandering over to me. i sat up and looked him in the eyes.

jaemin smirked at me and reached his hand out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "you know, i really meant it when i said you looked beautiful tonight," he told me.

his words made my cheeks turn red and my heart explode. i opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. i only stood up and stepped away from jaemin.

     "i-i think i'm gonna take my makeup off and get changed," i stuttered before turning around.

     i was stopped when a hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around. i was met with jaemin's intense gaze, and his face was just inches from mine. i felt his hands make their way down to my waist to pull me closer.

     i gulped as he continued to stare into my eyes. "w-what are you doing?" i asked him in shock.

     "can i not admire your beauty?" jaemin said with raised brows.

     i remained silent as i tilted my head downwards. my heart started to race and i hoped jaemin wouldn't notice. i swore its beating was audible from a mile away.

     the boy grinned and brought his mouth up to my ear. "i wish i would've made out with you instead," he whispered. tingles were sent down my spine and my eyes widened.

     jaemin pulled his face back into view and held me close. i wasn't sure what to do, so i tried my best to dart my gaze away from his. jaemin noticed this and immediately rested his forehead on mine, cupping my face in his palms.

"i can't see your pretty face if you're always moving it around," jaemin commented and i blushed.

     we stayed like that for a while, but my body never got used to the intensity of the situation. my heart was still beating as fast as it first was, and my hands grew sweatier with each passing second.

     i could feel jaemin's warm breath land on my lips, and he started to rub circles in my cheeks with his thumbs.

     he didn't say another word before his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned in closer to me. i closed my eyes as well, and soon the space between us disappeared when he pressed his lips against mine.

adrenaline rushed through my body and my chest tightened. jaemin pulled away from the kiss and he smiled at me before leaning in again, but i turned my head and backed away.

"i can't do this, jaemin," i mumbled in shame. the boy let go of me and stepped backwards.

he didn't make eye contact with me, but i saw his lips curve into a frown. "i'm s-sorry... it's okay," jaemin stated while scratching the back of his head. he awkwardly stood there for awhile longer before swinging around and sauntering back over to his bed.

i held my arms together and sighed before heading to the bathroom. i closed the door and locked it while a tear fell down my cheek. i didn't want jaemin to hear me cry, but it was all i could do.

i felt horrible, but i didn't want to develop feelings for jaemin. i was scared of getting hurt, and i knew that if things continued like this between the two of us, i might fall in love with him. i wasn't ready for that.

i sobbed quietly to myself until i had no tears left to cry. i felt too drained to even stand up, so i just laid down on the bathroom floor. i shut my eyes and prayed that i would fall asleep quickly. i wanted to forget about the party, the messes, and all of the drunk couples. but most importantly, i wanted to forget jaemin's kiss.

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A/N: this chapter got so angsty at the end, i apologize 😭😭 but thank you to whoever has read to this point, you're truly amazing 😳💓