Running From Your Shadows

Chapter 13

Marina took in the sight of his old armor and skin suit. It was black and grey with touches of sage green and white. She saw his helmet, where she could tell the X was aggressively wiped off in favor of the new decal he had on it. She looked around and saw all of his old weapons, from a heavy SAW to a custom sniper rifle, even a shotgun and a few pistols. What made her smirk was an old energy sword clearly turned off.

"Must be a trophy." She thought. Marina traced her fingers around his armor, wondering what Sam was doing while wearing this armor.

"Since my CO chastised me for questioning him, saying I was nothing but a suit of armor and a gun, it changed me. I felt a need to be just that, be obsessed with becoming the perfect soldier, if I was to ever be accepted and remembered. That is why I went by Locus. If I continued on as Sam, I would never be what was expected of me."

"What a cruel captain." Marina thought as she then directed her attention to his helmet, being able to see where his eyes would've been, and seeing that Sam purposefully aligned his scarring to match where the X on his helmet would overlay.

"Felix and I banded together when Reach fell, before I cut myself up. I admired how he carried himself, how he had a purpose for himself, and as much as I hated him as a person, he was goal-oriented, and I followed him out of desperation he could help me find my purpose. What I didn't know was how selfishly psychotic he was, utilizing my weakness and vulnerability for his gain, to help keep him in check." Marina watched as Sam knelt on the middle of the floor, feeling defeated and broken.

"That's the abuse part Sam tells me about..." She slowly knelt to his level, and cupped his cheek with her hands, and his tears began to well in his eyes.

"My armor was my identity, and I didn't want that anymore... It took my last major job on the planet Chorus for me to see what happened to me. I became a monster, a murderer, Marina. Felix used me, prevented me from healing from my conflicts, to keep himself alive and in check. He needed me to live, but manipulated me into believing I needed him. In the end he merely fed me the toxic energy and lies to continue murdering. Our old partner, Siris, was a rock of lawful good, but he left us to tend to his family. I think he escaped before we would fall hard from the safety of sanity to insanity. I was the sociopath to his psychopath. I left Felix to die by the hands of the Reds and Blues. I betrayed him, and he fell off a cliff. I vowed there to make things right. I began to live in this refugee colony for a time before their power generator was stolen, and due to no clean air or water everyone died. Every man, woman, and child, died. I tracked it down, but what was the point? No matter what I do, someone dies. Even the man I respected, and hoped he would help me, was shot in the throat, and I wish I could've told him I am sorry for everything." He began weeping with his lips quivering. 

Marina glanced back and forth between Samuel and the LOCUS class armor, stunned at all she had learned. Samuel was a mercenary who was running from his past, and still running by swearing off killing. He wanted to change, and have a new purpose in life. Marina could see it as bright as day in his eyes of how scared he was of himself, and how others would fear him as a monster. Marina cradled his head in her hands as he hesitantly looked up to her again.

"Marina... how could you ever love a monster? Why want someone like me, a cold-blooded machine of a merc who has killed thousands without question for the sake of orders? How could you not fear me?" Marina used her thumbs to wipe away his tears, and she smiled softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Samuel slowly wrapped his arms around Marina in response.

"Because you are more human than you think, Sam." Marina looked him in the eye, and despite how unsure he was, she pressed her lips against his. Marina wanted Sam to know that she was always here for him, to comfort him, to reassure him that everything will be okay, and that she loves him. She could feel Sam flinch at first, but his smile was felt as he kissed her in return. Sam pulled away, stroking her cheek with his knuckles.

"Marina?" He spoke with uncertainty in his voice.

"You are many things, Sam, Locus, but a monster is something I know you aren't. No matter if you were Samuel Ortez, or Locus, I love you," she heard his breath hitch when she said those three words. "Your scars are and will always be a part of you, but they do not have to define you. Your heart and actions do that, and I say you are the most wonderful and honorable man I've ever met," Marina affirmed as she wiped away the remaining makeup on his scars, and kissed the bridge of his nose. "You may be a beast, or perceive yourself as a monstrous beast, Sam, but to me you are the most beautiful beast I've met. You're sweet, kind and caring, genuine and honorable. I'm proud of you for taking time to figure yourself out, but I'm mainly proud of you for being here with us, with me. I want you, more than anyone or anything, and I will be the woman you need me to be. I won't leave you, I promise." Sam smiled and couldn't hold back anymore as he pulled Marina in for a kiss he didn't think he had in him, because his love for her cemented the uncertainty in his heart that he is here to stay, and he will right his wrongs.