Maybe The Unexpected Isn't So Bad

Chapter 6

Zayn’s Perspective

I stare at the wall, the sound of Liam and Niall’s even, deep breathing filling the room, preventing me from sleeping. I roll over for the millionth time tonight before sighing, giving up on my attempt at sleep and sliding out of the bed which somehow Niall, Liam and I were sharing. I walk out side of the room silently, heading towards the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea but I stop in the doorway as I see Louis, who’s been in his room since we went to the doctors before lunch, gripping the bench tightly as he leans on it heavily, his eyes closed as he takes deep breaths.

“Were you sick again?” I ask softly and Louis’ blue eyes open, glancing at me before looking away quickly.

“No, just trying to make sure I didn’t wake anyone.” Lou says before turning around as the kettle goes off. “Want one?” He asks and I hum a yes, sitting myself on the bench, watching Louis make the tea silently. After about a minute, he hands me my one then sits next to me.

“Tanks.” I murmur before taking a sip. The corners of his mouth twitch upwards for a second before his unreadable mask returns. We sit there in silence, neither of us wanting to talk as we finish our tea then just sit there for a while.

After about half an hour of silence between us, Louis lets out a shaky breath and I instantly reach over to him, placing my hand on his knee. He closes his eyes before muttering

“You’re going to hate me.” I raise my eyebrows even though he can’t see me that well, as we’re sitting in the dark.

“Doubt it.” I say, leaning backwards, placing my hands behind me as I look at Louis, waiting for him to continue, not wanting to rush him, knowing he’ll shut down completely.

“I-I’m not sick, Zayn. B-but my career, e-everything I-I’ve worked for is going to be over. M-management’s g-going to kick me out, unless I…” He trails off and worry and confusion fill me.

“There’s no One Direction without you, Lou. If they drop you they drop all of us. There’s no way any of us would stay together if you were gone. We’d miss you too much.” I say and Louis swallows loudly and takes a short, shaky breath.

“You don’t understand. There is no way they’ll keep me unless I… but I can’t, Zayn. I can’t. It’s wrong.” Louis’ making no sense and my confusion and worry is growing as I slide off the bench and walk around so I’m facing Louis. I take his empty cup out of his shaking hands and place both of my hands on his, looking into his blue eyes that even though it’s dark, I can see tears brimming in.

“Louis, tell me what’s going on and I’ll help you; no matter what it is. I’m here for you, so are Li, Niall and Harry. Just tell me what’s going on and I’ll help you fix it.” I say softly and Lou shakes his head, closing his eyes as a tear spills down onto his cheek.

“You can’t tell them. I-I don’t even know what I’m going to do yet. I-I have no idea, Zayn. Oh god, Zayn. My l-life is over.” Louis sobs and I reach up to his face to wipe the tears that are starting to stream. I’ve never seen Louis like this, even when he thought he was falling for Harry and he was terrified, he never let himself cry in front of anyone. He always put on a brave face and never let anyone worry about him.

“Tell me, Lou and I’ll help you. Let me help you.” I beg him, feeling useless. Usually, if with the other boys, I always know what to do if their upset. I always know what to do to cheer them up, but with Lou, because he is usually so happy and if he’s not he works it out for himself, I have no idea what to do.

“I-I don’t think y-you can, Z-Zayn. I-I d-don’t think anyone c-can.” He sobs and I pull him forward so he can bury his face into my shoulder. I rub his back as his entire body shakes with sobs as he lets out strangled cries and hiccups, my feeling of worry and uselessness filling my entire being and all I want to do is help my friend, but I don’t know how, so instead, I just let him cry onto my shoulder and hold him.

After a while, Louis stops crying but doesn’t move from leaning his head on my shoulder and I don’t let him go. I wait until his breathing evens out and I’m sure he’s calm enough before saying quietly

“Please, Lou. Tell me what I can do. I-I need to do something to help you. D-do you want to tell someone else? I can go wake Harry.” Louis pulls away from me abruptly and shakes his head, his puffy red eyes wide.

“No. Not Harry. I-I d-don’t want to look at him. I-I can’t be in the same room as h-him. I-I don’t want him any where near me.” He says quickly, wiping his face. I don’t pressure him to tell me why, but at least I now know to keep Harry away from Louis.

“Liam? Niall? Do you want me to call your Mum or Stan? Or Mark?” I ask and Louis shakes his head again, but less frantically. “Please, just talk to someone. Just tell someone what’s going on.” Louis squeezes his eyes shut tightly before leaning back into me.

“P-promise not to t-tell anyone. Even if y-you hate me?” He asks sounding fragile and weaker than I have ever heard him.

“I’ll never hate you, Louis. And of course I’ll never tell anyone anything you don’t want me too. I love you.” I reply holding him tightly and he sniffs loudly.

“T-the doctor s-said… that…” He pauses and I hear him struggle to breathe normally and it takes him about a minute to calm himself down again.

“It’s okay, Lou. Just breathe.” I murmur gently as I rub his back, waiting for whenever he’s ready to tell me.

“I-I’m pregnant, Zayn and-and I have n-no idea what I-I’m going t-to do. I d-don’t w-want to g-give up the b-band. I-I d-don’t w-want t-to tell Harry. I-I don’t w-want to t-tell anyone. I don’t even know if I want it. B-but I-I can’t k-kill it. I-I can’t. I’ve b-been thinking about it all day. I-I have no idea what t-to do, Zayn.” Louis says so quickly that his words slur together yet I get every word he said. I stiffened as soon as he said the first two words but I don’t pull away, my first thought is that my friend needs me more than ever, even if I’m having trouble processing this. I blink as soon as I realise how hard this is for me to take in, then think of how hard this is for Louis, who can’t even look after himself properly is about to be a parent because it’s obvious he’s not going to get an abortion and I doubt he’ll put his child up for adoption, even if he’ll lose his job and is scared shitless.

As I think all of this and it finally dawns on me that this is actually happening, a cry that sounds so painful and hurt that it makes tears fill my own eyes echoes around the once silent house before I realise it came from my best friend. He pulls his knees up to his chest as he pulls away from me, burying his face into his knees as more horrible, pain filled sobs echo around the house. Then I do the only thing I can do, knowing nothing I can say will make any difference to him, and lean forward, taking him in my arms and letting him cry. Not letting him go until the other boys rush downstairs and go to move forward to touch Louis, Harry getting there first. Then suddenly, time seems to slow down as I realise none of this would even be happening if it wasn’t for the curly-haired man moving forward to touch Louis, my crying best friend, who’s crying about something that something that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for that man. So to stop him touching Louis, I do the only thing I can think of doing; I reach back and with all the strength I can muster, punch him in the face and watch as he crumples to the ground, clutching his nose.