Yours Truly

Part 6: Broken Vows

I was browsing on my SNS Account when a familiar photo caught my attention. Its our honeymoon photos!

My phone vibrated while I'm checking the photos, it was a call from the Philippines. I answered the call with excitement.

"Hello, tita! (auntie), how are y---, wha-what happen to lola (grandma)?!"

"She'll not gonna live long. Come back home while she's still with us. She doesn't want you to know her condition."

I almost lost my grip on my phone. My whole body is shaking. Tears began to fall from my eyes.

"Lola..."

I booked the first flight to the Philippines. I tried calling Junmyeon several times but I can't reach him. And I cried even harder when he texted me, it says: Don't call me right now, we'll start our practice soon. He didn't even asked me why I'm calling him earnestly.

So this must be the downside of our unconventional love, eh? I laughed at myself.

"Gwaenchana? (Are you okay?)"

"Ne (yes)" I lifted my head and answered the Flight attendant.

The whole travel was really frustrating to me. I wanted to be home faster so that I can still spend some more time with my dear lola.

I received a devastating message from my aunt when the plane landed.

"(Your Name), lola's gone.."

Those 2 words pierced directly through my heart. My phone fell on the ground as I lost grip on it. My knees felt like jelly and before I knew it, I was now sitting on the floor. People are looking at me but I don't care at all.

My poor lola. My lola is my only family. My parents were working abroad - separately, I mean, they're separated and they have they're own families. I was left alone to my lola's care. Growing up, my lola would always tell me that my parents love me so much, she taught me not to have grudges. She always reminds me how they are working hard for me. Its just that my parents' relationship didn't really work, but it doesn't mean that they don't love at all, and that they did not left me alone.

I never once felt alone or left out because my lola and Mellie was always beside me, through my happiest and toughest days. I shared my dreams with her. He cheered me on when I'm winning, and cheered me up when I'm loosing. My whole being will never be possible without the existence of my lola. And now that she's gone, how could I ever live?

"Cheer up now (Y/N), she's at peace now." My mom who was trying to console me. 

We are now at my lola's room. It's been a day after my lola's remains were cremated. I just woke up after crying the whole night.

"Don't sleep in your lola's room tomorrow night okay? It'll be more painful for you." My mom continued.

"Why? What's wrong with me sleeping in here?"

"Nothing's wrong anak (child), I just don't want you to be hurt even more."

My mom and I weren't very close since she was almost never present in my life.

"You do not want me to be hurt, when you and dad were the ones who hurt me first?" I said firmly. "You think I can accept my fate if not for lola's words? You think I can face you and dad if not for her reminders? I'm sorry ma but I'm tired and sick of this all." I said while in tears. The wounds from my childhood were once again opened up.

"Anak (child), you know how tough it has been for us too, right? If only I could bring you along with me, I would. But our situation dictates the opposite. You think I want to leave you behind? Or I want to be a single mom? Or to remarry? You think I like all of that? Hell, no!" My mom was hurt by my words, I can see the pain as her tears fell on her cheeks.