miracleboy / tendou satori

+ t h i r t y

something broke inside ushijima when he heard tendou's last sentence. he doesn't understand what that is or why he feels that way, but it hurts. it hurts so bad that he feels like his lungs stopped working because he can't seem to breathe properly.

his head hung low and his fists were clenched too tight that his knuckles start to turn white. something has ignited within ushijima's being, it's hot and suffocating, something similar to anger but it wasn't anger.

why? why did you do it? he wanted to ask tendou that but he was unable to do so. he cannot fathom the struggle tendou had to go through alone to commit such action. just.. just how alone must he had felt to do such? his mind is clouded and his thoughts are slowly wallowing him whole until he heard tendou's voice.

"ushijima, why are you crying?"

ushijima looked up, his cheeks glisten with fresh tears and his eyes are full of tears threatening to fall down, "i don't know, tendou. i don't know."

he wipes his left cheek with the back of his left hand. tendou extends his arms to ushijima's right cheek to wipe the tear stains. "awww, i didn't know you're such a crybaby, wakatoshi-kunnnnn. now, now. it's alright wakatoshi-kun, it's alright."

tendou grabs ushijima's chin and raised it just enough for their eyes to meet. "it's alright, wakatoshi-kun. it's all in the past," he then gave ushijima a reassuring smile (though the smile didn't reach his eyes). "it's alright."

ushijima's emotion gradually subsided and in no time, the food was served.

"i ordered for us before i took a seat a while back, i hope you don't mind."

"no worries, it's fine," wakatoshi replied.

they started devouring their kilo burgers and ushijima understood now why tendou kept coming back to this place. their burgers are tasty and savory. the patties were grilled perfectly, the lettuce are of a good amount and the tomatoes weren't too ripe. there's also cheese, bacon, and pickles inside the burger.

ushijima puts his hand in the air, just enough to gain tendou's attention. tendou gave him a what is it look then ushijima gave a thumbs up and smiled, a genuine appreciative smile which melted tendou's heart.

"aww wakatoshi-kun you're so cute," tendou pinched ushijima's cheeks which wiped the smile on the younger's face.

tendou pouted, "you should smile more often, wakatoshi. it looks good on you."

ushijima just nodded.

"you know, their patties are much more healthier than other patties," tendou spoke again for the nth time today. "it has omega 3 fatty acids, antioxidants such as vitamin e, less fat, and more conjugated linolic acid which reduces heart disease problems or cancer risks."

"you're a nerd," ushijima replied but no hint of insult was heard.

"i'd take that as a compliment," tendou laughed then proceeded to talking, "plus, using grass-fed cows are much more sustainable than using feedlot cows." he said in a as-a-matter-of-factly voice.

"what are we now, earth protection squad?" they both laughed at what ushijima said.

"so wakatoshi-kun, what do you do besides volleyball?"

ushijima paused to think then his lovely plants came to his mind, "i like gardening."

"hmmm, tell me about it."

"i have a garden, that's it. what else do you want me to say?" ushijima says, confusion evidently heard in his voice.

"maybe the type of plants you take care of, how you started with it, and other stuff you want to share about it, ushijima."

ushijima's eyebrows slightly moved upwards, an indication that he just got the information tendou wants.

"i grew up with my grandmother. after my grandfather's demise, grandma gardened like hell. there were bushes here and there, in front of our house, in the backyard, the sides of our house, and there even plants inside the house. it's insane, but i came to love it anyway because of my grandmother. she loves planting flowers and harvest crops while i love taking care of succulents."

"do you love her?" tendou asked and ushijima just stared at him, dumbfounded. "right, it was a dumb question. i'm sorry, i know you love her very much."

"my grandfather is a volleyball coach. when i was very young, we'd always play in the backyard when his team is on rest. and as i've told you before, my passion for volleyball was birthed because of him. he's my inspiration when i'm playing. i want to make him proud of me, of every game i play, of every game i win."

"i'm sure he's proud of you, wakatoshi-kun," tendou says. a hint of envy hits tendou as he heard wakatoshi's story. "do you hate your parents for leaving you, wakatoshi?"

there was a long pause and tendou immediately regretted asking the question, "don't worry wakatoshi, no need to answer that if you don't like it."

"no," ushijima says in a quiet voice. "i don't hate them. i want to but i can't."

tendou just hummed and they continued to finish their burgers. they had a few more chitchats about their hobbies, manga, volleyball, and games.

at 2:41 pm, they decided to go home. apparently, they live in the same neighborhood, just few houses away from each other.

while walking home, tendou spoke. "you have a good heart wakatoshi-kun."

"what do you mean?"

tendou threw his hands in the air to stretch then placed them at the back of his head before continuing, "my parents went on separate ways and left me at an orphanage when i was still very young. at first, i didn't understand why they did that but after a few years of stay in the orphanage, i came to realize that maybe they did that because i am truly different from other kids. i hated them. i hated that they neglected their own child."

tears are threatening to escape tendou's eyes but he continued, "i realized that maybe they gave me away because i was so hard to love, or that because i look weird, or maybe because they just thought their lives would be better off without me. ushijima, no one really loves me."

he looked at ushijima then he broke down. he was unable to contain the emotion, now he was sobbing uncontrollably. ushijima just hugged tendou and caressed his back to calm him down.

when tendou's breakdown subsided, there was a hint of embarrassment in his face. he jokingly said, "now that was such a weak moment to have been witnessed by THE ace of our school."

ushijima blinked. "it's okay, tendou. i'm glad you showed me that side of you."

tendou just rolled his eyes and headed towards the direction of his house. with his back facing the ace, tendou couldn't help but smile as he remember everything that happened today.

"thanks for today!!" ushijima shouted before tendou could enter the gate. the red head just gave him a thumbs up then ushijima headed home.