Bill Hader one shots

Dave's Problem

you woke up to the sound of something loud hitting your bedroom floor , it made your body jolt awake.

What the hell was that?
You think to yourself before hearing your friend Dave scream your name from outside your window.

You quickly get out of bed and walk over to the window.
"Did you throw a fuckin rock in my room?" You ask incredulously. Dave blinks and nods.
"Yeah , I didn't know how else to get your attention" he says with a shrug.

You sigh and rub your eyes
"I own a phone you know you could have called" you say.

"Well...............you wanna get a slushee?" Dave asks , his thumbs hooked in his pants pockets. You shield your eyes from the sun before looking at the clock on your wall. 1:30 pm
"Sure just gimme a minute" you reply

"Sweet" Dave chuckles before walking over to your porch and sitting down. He looked cute , like a lost puppy.

You went into the bathroom for a super quick shower and to brush your teeth. The hot water did a nice job of waking you up.

You closed the window in your room so you could get dressed, you left your hair down and out on a pair of black skinny jeans and a plain red t shirt with a very beaten up pair of converse. A quick pit stop back in the bathroom to do your makeup and now you were ready to go.

"Hey, I'm ready" you chime walking out your front door. Dave smiles and stands up. His eyes scan your body as you start to walk towards his moped.

"Is this rod's?" You ask , Dave didn't have a moped , at least you didn't think he did.

"Yeah he gave me this one when he got his new one, cool right?" Dave said as he mounted it.

"Yeah that's awesome that was nice of him" you say situating yourself on the back of it.

"Ready? Hold on tight girl" Dave's voice rang, he had a slight accent that you could never quite put your finger on. You met Dave at the arcade , he was there with his friends and really Rico was the first one to talk to you, he seen you playing space invaders and came over to watch. His first words to you were : "hell yeah girl fuck those space aliens up!" Followed by a drink of something in a paper bag. Eventually you met Dave, rod and Kevin, and spent that whole summer with them , that was a couple years ago now. You and Dave got especially close , you both had common interests and always were able to make each other laugh and if you had to be honest with yourself...you've had a crush on him for about a year but you're too shy to tell him that obviously, plus he probably didn't like you in that way.

"Hold on" Dave's voice yanks you from your thoughts. You wrap your arms around his torso and rest your head against his back. It felt nice to touch him you could feel his muscles under his shirt and his soft sweet scent filled your nose.
God you liked him.
He was so comfortable you could almost fall asleep, you place your arms a little lower for your own comfort and you could feel Dave tense up a bit.

Minutes later , you arrived at the food truck and saw Kevin, rod, Rico and Denise hanging out by Rico's van, drinking and eating hot dogs.

"Sup guys" Dave announces parking the moped. Denise perks up and smiles to see you two.
"Hey guys!" She exclaims waving you over.
Rico hands you a beer "I don't have another paper bag so if a cop comes around just hand it to Kevin" he says , you can't help but laugh.
"Hey (y/n)" rod says with an over dramatic nod.
"Hey rod , hey Kev" you reply opening your beer.
"You want anything to eat? I'm kinda hungry" Dave asks nudging you slightly. Your gaze floated to Kathy, the cashier at the food truck.
"No that's ok, you go ahead" you say with a smile.
Dave pats your shoulder before walking over to her. You watch them talk for a moment , she seemed annoyed but Dave didn't notice or didn't care or maybe he just could read people very well.
"Hey (y/n) you comin to the jump tomorrow?" Kevin asks shyly.
"Yeah totally, of course I am, wouldn't miss it For the world!" You reply reassuringly. Rod was going to jump the local lake tomorrow, Kevin was team manager , Dave was the mechanic , Rico made the Ramps, Denise planned the stunts and you were the stand by medical assistant if rod ever needed it and also dealt with the social media. Bringing attention to rods stunts was not hard at all , especially after his jump last year to save his dad, people flocked to see rod.
Dave came back with two Corn dogs and a shit eating grin on his face. "Kathy totally just begged me for my number" he says.
"No she didn't" Rico retorted.
"Uhhhh. yeah.  she did I think she wants to go out some time" he adds raking a drink of his slushee.
"Wow That's awesome Dave" Kevin chimes with a small excited smile.
"Yeah she's bangin!" Rico says looking over at her.
You look at her too, she was admittedly really pretty.
You didn't feel so good all of a sudden.
"I think I'm gunna head home" you say to the group.
Dave's smile leaves his face and a panicked look replaces it.
"Wh-what why?" He asks
"We were gunna go to the ice rink later" Kevin says. You smile
"That sounds fun but I don't know I don't feel so good maybe I'll go another day" you reply.
Dave stands up "well wait do you want a ride home?" He asks , gesturing toward the moped.
You shake your head and smile "no that's alright I'll just walk , thanks anyway" you say.
"Oh....ok well , see you tomorrow?" He asks. You can see reluctance in his eyes he doesn't want you to leave.
"Yeah I'll see you guys tomorrow, I just don't feel so good" you say before waving and walking back home.
———————————————————
It's late , you're sitting in your room watching tv, you're in your favorite pajama pants and black tank top. Your mind kept flashing back to earlier, did Dave really give Kathy his number? Of course he would she's gorgeous. Part of you wanted to be happy for Dave but part of you was jealous.
Just stop thinking about it.
There were two knocks at your window you looked over before getting out of bed and opening it.
"Hey" Dave smiled.
"Hey Dave what's up?" You ask , looking behind him to see if anyone else was here.
"It's just me , I kinda wanted to talk" he says.
You take a step back "come on in" you chime. Dave carefully climbs through your window his tall lanky body crouching to fit through. He stood up with a huff and a smile.
"Sorry I look like crap" you say softly. Dave looks down at you
"Oh what? You look great , you always look great" he reassures rubbing your arm.
"Not as good as Kathy " you mumble under your breath as you sit back in your bed.
"What?" Dave asks
"So what's up? What brings you here?" You question, looking at him with curious eyes. He looks at you then down at his hands then back at you.
"I guess I just wanted to talk" he says quietly.
"Is everything ok?" You ask sitting with your legs crossed.
"Uh yeah .... I just , there's this girl" he says looking in your eyes.
"And I think.....I think I love her" he adds, this floors you.
"Oh-uh well....have you told her?" You ask. Dave shakes his head
"No I'm too nervous, I don't know how she'd react" he says looking back down at the floor.
"Well If you have feelings for her I'm sure she has feelings for you too " you say rubbing his shoulder. He smiles slightly but it falls quickly.
"So you think I should tell her?" He asks looking at you.
"Yeah absolutely, I'm sure Kathy would want to know your true feelings" you smile.
Your heart aches , you knew it , he loved Kathy. You should have told him how you felt about him a long time ago and now he's slipping away from you.
Dave looks at you with confusion
"Kathy?" He asks.
"Yeah isn't that who you're talking about , it's obvious you like her" you reply.
Dave laughs "god no! Kathys not my type at ALL" Dave says underling his seriousness with a hand gesture.
"Wait you don't like Kathy?" You ask shocked.
"Not at all.." Dave says with a smile that turns into a laugh "I can't believe you think I like Kathy" he adds.
"Well what was all that earlier ? You bragging about getting her number?" You say in defense.
"Oh that was just a joke on the other guys" he says waving it off.
"Oh..." you say softly.
"Well who do you like then?" You ask. Dave looks at you for a moment before gently grabbing your face and pulling you into a long passionate kiss, his lips were soft as his touch , you let out a soft moan and wrap your arms around his neck. His hands search your body as he deepens the kiss. Your eyes open when he pulls away , you felt like you were floating.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time (y/n)....I never knew how to tell you how I feel about you" he says his thumb gently rubbing your cheek. You smile before getting on top of him and continuing your kiss.