problems

chapter three: breaking point

Alisa-

She the think I'm her best friend but trust me baby I'm your worst enemy please believe me. Once Kianna told me that she like brenda i was mad.why cant her and these other bitches keep they ass still away from brenda. She is mine and i be damned if im going to llet these bitches get to her.she should have been smart enough and said no after I told her that I dated Brenda a while back. I mean what the hell is she thinking. Just know I have a plan for that bitch and she better watch out cause a lot of shit is coming to her. I walked into my second period class and as soon as I walked in, I spot brenda way in the back talking to her friend Chelsea.

"Brenda stop talking to that bitch and bring your ass over here I need to talk to you." I said rudely

" who the fuck you calling a bitch I know you got the wrong one." Chelsea said with a attitude.

" listen bitch don't talk unless spoken to okay." I said mean as possible "you are one of brenda bitches didn't she train you not to talk unless spoken. Brenda you need to check her ass."

Before chelsea could get a word out her mouth Brenda stopped her.

" don't say anything else chelsea. Before you say something you might regret. She ain't worth it." Brenda said covering her mouth. "Kianna listen why the hell are you talking to her like that. You don't come in here talking to my friend chelsea like that. I should stick you right in your damn face ,but I'll be nice to you.

"what the fuck ever. you need to train this bitch like I said the first time ,but anyways please come here."

I don't give a fuck about what a bitch  think on how I talk to them. Last time I check this was my mouth. brenda need to check that bitch though because I wasn't speaking to her. I already told Brenda she need to start checking these bitches.

"alright what you want." She said coming up to me.

" do you like that new girl kianna? Cause I hear that she a thirsty bitch and be fucking with any and every nigga" I said lieing

"why should that matter to you. How the fuck do you know that about her and she new. Matter fact why is that any of your business . I'm getting tired of your Damn ass. Every time I be into someone your little nosey ass have to come around with your long ass nose sneeving to know who i fucking with. Just like some damn stalker. You need to get over it I dont want you anymore. It has been two fuckin years and you still going. yo out here finding who I fucking with telling them some untrue shit about not only me but them.You need to stay in your place. Ever since we broke up you have been doing this shit. Do something better with your life!" She said irritated "you are really pathetic and if you go telling kianna some shit I swear I will beat the shit out of you!"

I can't believe what brenda said about me. I mean yes I do find out who brenda fucking with,but that doesn't make me a stalker or pathetic. I hate the fact that brenda gets all these girls and doesnt care about me.I turn around from facing her and run out the classroom and towards the girls bathroom on the freshman hall ,so nobody won't find me.

"That's right get your ass out of here." Brenda said

I went into the bathroom hall wriped off my arm bandage and got out my razor and started cutting my right wrist. The pain in my arm fells so good. As i continue, all the bad that has happen to me and starts flashing before my eyes and it makes me cut more.I have been doing this ever since brenda and I broke up and from there everything has been crumbling down. After a while the cutting didn't satisfied me anymore ,so I took multiple of my antidepressants and went facing the mirror. I have been crying and I didn't know it. My small helpless arm has gone through a lot and looks like its about to split open after my continuous cutting. My arm leaks with blood and it stings. After five minutes I have began to feel myself getting dizzy. I hold my head with my right arm. Holding my head does not prevent me from falling on the floor. I cannot control myself from shaking uncontrollably. Folm starts coming out of my mouth and I feel like in about to die. Nobody is in this bathroom except for me. Nobody will find me and help me. All they will see is this lifeless body of a girl who is going through a lot and has nobody to love her. I know I have said plenty of times that I wanted to die but not now. Please god don't take me I'm not ready yet.....