Satzu - Backup dancer [COMPLETED]

Fifteenth chapter

"Sana, I am sorry. But I realized that I don't love you anymore. Don't look for me. I don't want to see you ever again."

Sana POV:

I am laying on my bed. My face is covered by a big cuddle blanket which hides the lightly puffed cheeks and the red eyes. I watch my breath. They way, I inhale the lightly stifling air and the way I exhale trembling. 

I hate myself. Right from the beginning I didn't deserve Tzuyu. She is a precious angel and all I did was braking her heart. 

In the background, I hear the whispered conversation between Momo and Mina. Since I'm in an emotional condition which is, according to Mina, disturbing, and according to Momo, the most likely state for me to drink myself into death, my best friends removed all alcoholic beverages from my apartment and stayed with me at my home. 

"How could you? This kissing scene you and Sana made, made the situation even worse. You are so stupid." Momo's voice cuts through the silence. 

I know she's not talking to me. My friends probably think, I cried myself into sleep. 

"If I was you, I wouldn't talk about people being stupid easily like that." Mina sounds offended. 

Momo just huffs scornfully but continues in a serious tone. "I've never seen Sana as broken as right now." 

"I am worried too but how could that be my fault? I saved the company image." 

"Maybe that's the point. For the girl she truly loves Sana shouldn't have done that and you shouldn't have forced her." Momo snaps.

"I didn't force her. I hate you." 

I hear Momo standing up. "Just so you know. I hate you too. I'll meet with one of the dancers, we had this performance in Japan with. I heard she was close to Tzuyu." She says in a cold voice, rushing out my apartment. 

I hate when my friends argue. 

Mina sighs. I guess, she feels guilty right now, even though none of this was her fault. It was only mine. 

"You didn't force me and you've done nothing wrong." I say, my voice cracking, while lifting the blanket. 

Mina eyes me with a shocked expression. Her fingers caress my puffed cheeks. "How are you feeling?" 

"How do I look like?" I ask in return. She nods, understanding. 

I seriously can't imagine how I'll go on with work. I do mentally connect everything of dancing with Tzuyu. Even thinking about her name hurts and a small tear escapes my eye. Mina looks at me and sighs again. 

I suddenly remember her first brake up. I guess, we were still in high school back then. Mina and her boyfriend were known as the visual couple at school. He was indeed good looking and seems to be nice and caring but he was the first one who let his girlfriend down as she went through a dark time where she wasn't the happy, cheerful girl everyone knew. 

I still remember that Momo and I were with her all the time after the brake up, trying to comfort our maknae since she didn't stop crying for days. I do suddenly notice Mina's look at my lips. It seems like she remembers that as well. I used to kiss her when she was upset and it always helped her to her to get out of her sadness for at least a couple of minutes. It may sound weird, but those kiss sessions never made things awkward between us, so... 

Mina is biting her bottom lip right now. That's too much for me to handle. I lean in and connect our lips. Mina seems to be surprised at first but kisses back immediately. 

Why does it hurt so much to kiss someone you aren't in love with? 

Why can't she be here and kiss me?

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