Behind their masks

Maybe we're better off as friends

12th September 2012
Cheongsam High School
10th Grade

"Again?" I huffed, helping him plasters over his knuckles.

"He was looking at you." He groaned, wincing at when my fingers grazed his swollen hands.

"That boy's in hospital now, you understand that right?" I argued back. That was the first time I raised my voice at him, and I was terrified.

"It made me feel-" He mumbled.

"I don't like you." I said, forcing myself to look at him. If I looked away it would've been harder to say any of this. It was easier to look at him so he knew I was being serious.

"Huh?" He furrowed his eyebrows, slowly moving his hands away from me.

"In all honesty, I only said yes but I didn't really like you." I said again. I pursed my lips, watching countless emotions change on Jimin's face.

Finally, his face softened. "Why would you do that?" He asked quietly.

"Because I was scared." I mumbled. You couldn't argue with me about that. Jimin was feared throughout the whole school. Not only because he was tough and liked having his own way, but his parents were very influential. Even the teachers couldn't do anything about it.

"Why didn't you just say no?" He argued back.

"If I did, what would you do? Would you accept it." I said, looking at him.

Jimin pursed his lips. He knew he wouldn't take it well, but at the same time he didn't want to feel like that. "I don't know. I don't like that you lied though." He muttered.

"You're not a bad guy, I was interested in you." I hummed.

It was true. At some point, I found Jimin to be interesting. He wasn't just a bully, and I found myself trying to see how far I could push him. But eventually I came to realise that even then he was still beating kids up, I couldn't lie to myself and keep up with him.

"Not anymore." He sighed, clenching his fists.

"Sometimes feelings change." I shrugged. It was hard to read his expressions. His face seemed blank and he didn't even realise that he was staring right at me, making me feel slightly intimidated. I felt like he was going to pounce at any second.

"I want to hate you but I don't." He popped.

"You don't?" I asked, slightly shocked by his response. He was easily controlled by his emotions so I assumed he would've hated my guts.

"You don't like me anymore, why?" He said.

"My life's changed ever since we started dating." I sighed, crossing my feet up over the brick wall.

"In a bad way?" He added.

"People won't even talk to me because they're scared of you. And on top of that you're always with me wherever I go. I feel suffocated." I whined, frowning slightly.

I was still terrified. I had no idea how he was going to react. He could change at any point with no warning sign so I had to tread carefully with what I said.

"People don't talk to me but it doesn't bother me." He scoffed, glaring at the ground.

"It bothers me. I care about other people." I huffed. "Don't you care about anyone?"

"I care about you." He mumbled.

"Nobody else?" I asked. He shook his head. I sighed. "Okay." I nodded. "Let's break up."