I let you in {BILLIE EILISH}

Bonfires and cuddles

Billie's POV
We left the station around 6 o'clock. It was just an emotionally exhausting day. I didn't cry surprisingly I just teared up. Because I'm soft. No one is ever gonna here that sentence come out of my mouth... ever.
"You okay?" Vanessa asked as she turned down the music.
"Yeah. I just wanna go back to the hotel and sleep. We are going on tour!" I lied. And I'm actually kinda excited about tour. We figured that Vanessa and Dani are gonna be the ones going for personal protection considering that it would 'kinda look normal'. I don't know how though. They could have put anyone out in that position. Except Gal. I don't think anyone would believe I'd take him on tour. I mean I'd love for this to be a fun trip. Gal and everyone seems so nice. I wanna get to know them better.
"Your lying. My brother may be the profiler. But I know some things too. Spill the tea." I laughed at how she worded that.
"Okay. I'm horrified. For Finneas, Claudia, my mom and dad, anyone I'm close to. I just... I don't wanna see anyone get hurt. You know?" Especially you.
"No one is going to get hurt... except for him." I just laughed as we pulled into the beach parking lot.
"Here we are. I think I'm the only one not getting in the ocean." I told her as we started getting our stuff together to get out.
"I'm not. I don't like the ocean. I mean it's beautiful and everything I just like to look."
"Same. Look but don't touch." I said getting out of the car smiling as she got out too.
"We all decided that we're just gonna build a bonfire and stay out of the ocean. It's getting pretty dark." Finneas said as him and Claudia were hand and hand. I think they are a great couple. I saw Finneas pull out to a different intersection to go get Claudia. And Gal and the others went back to the hotel so we are all pulling in at different times.
"I'm cool with that." Vanessa said coming close to me.
"It's cold out here huh?" I asked as she put her arm around me.
"Vary." She said looking over at Gal, Bright, Dani, and J.T. as they pulled in and got out of the car they were in.
"Here's your blanket. We went back to the hotel to get a few." Bright explained handing Vanessa a rainbow pride blanket.
"Thanks." She said coming close to me again.
"Let's go make a bonfire and then get comfortable." Claudia pitched.
"I like that idea." Finneas said going back to his car possibly to get something.

After building the fire we all sat together. Me and Vanessa, Claudia and Finneas, Bright and Dani, and Gal and J.T. kinda sat alone like beside each other but alone. Vanessa's blanket was big enough to rap around both of us. I was propped up against a log and Vanessa sat between my legs and rested against my chest. The fire was not that big it was like big enough to where we could all see each other which was vary comforting. I was so comfortable to. Like I don't want this night to end it is just amazing.
"You warm?" Vanessa said in a soft voice. It was literally like an angel.
"Cozy and all that. You?"
"Yep." She said smiling.
"So Billie are you excited for this uh tour?" Gal asked. And every one looked at me. It surprisingly wasn't uncomfortable.
"Yeah. I'll have my mom, dad, Finn and Claudia, now Dani and Vanessa. I'm happy. Like I used to hate tour with a passion but now I'm just thankful that I get to meet a lot of fans. They make it all worth it. The long bus rides, the hotels, the not being home, the long ass shows. Everything... it's like they keep me grounded in a way. I love being there's . Helping them. I was once the girl going to concerts and looking up to people. Now I'm the person that they look up to. They help me and I help them. And it's all because I wrote two or three lyrics in a notebook. I'm not glorifying all of it because it's not all good. There are some things that are awful about being 'famous'. But the good almost always beats the bad."
"Yeah. Like the fraction of fans I have they are just amazing. Like some of them are just over for lack of better words dramatic." Finneas said. He is an awesome singer and songwriter. I just wish he could see that and know that.
"Yeah. They all mean well though they do." I added.
"Yeah they aren't all "over dramatic" they just really love us." Claudia said.
"Yeah. They connect with us and we connect with them. Like there was this one girl I met her at the meet and greets she told me how she was bullied for so long and when she found out about me she bought a shirt with my name on it. And she met her best friends through being in my fandom. And I just cried for her. Because I helped her with finding her best friends. Over the internet and in real life. Like she told me about her friend being there with her. And I asked to meet her. She took me to her friend and her friend had a look of shock on her face because she didn't have a m&g pass and they told me about how they met through the internet and they found out they went to the same school and then they were and are best friends now. So I feel like... I don't know the words but the closest thing I can get is grateful and happy. For them. They are mine and I'm there's." They all just looked at me. That's when I started to get uncomfortable.
"So. Can we listen to some music. I mean if you don't mind." Vanessa saved my ass again.
"Sure I don't mind. Bill?"
"Cool brah. Finn do you still have your guitar in your car ?"
"Yeah I'll go get it." He said standing up.

When he got back he sat on the log and Claudia laid her head on his leg. He started playing the intro to the acoustic version of Bad by Michael Jackson. As I started humming the beat a little bit I noticed that every one was looking at me including Vanessa. I kinda felt a little more confidence. So I started singing.
"That was beautiful." Vanessa said as I stopped singing.
"Thanks." I said smiling at her.
"Doesn't she have a beautiful voice?" Claudia asked. I just blushed and looked down.
"Yes." Vanessa said poking me in the side.
"Stop." I said laughing.
"Sing bellyache!" Claudia shouted.
"I haven't herd that one." J.T. said.
"It's one of her songs. And my favorite." Claudia explained.
"Acoustic?" Finn asked.
"Yeah." I said taking a drink of the water I had gotten out of the car earlier. He adjusted the guitar and he started playing. And started singing again.
"That was beautiful I have nothing else to say." Vanessa said. And I just laughed a little.
"Finn sing something." I said looking at him.
"I'm good."
"Oh come on babe please." Claudia jumped in.
"Fine I'll sing my new song. This one hasn't came out yet so. Yeah." He said starting to sing I Lost a Friend.
"That... how do you two have voices of angels damn." Vanessa said and every one began laughing.
"Billie is a much better singer then me." Finneas said. I laughed a little. Are we really gonna start this here?
"Bro shut up. Your a better song writer."
"To hell I am." Okay I guess we are.
"Whatever. You are an awesome singer."
"And your an awesome songwriter."
"You both are amazing." Bright said.
"Okay I know I can write a song. But I feel that Finneas is so much better at it than I am."
"I feel the same exact way about singing. Like there was a point where she would have to be all the way on the other side of the house before I could like even let out a note. Because I was like embarrassed." Try to keep calm. Just a little confidence is all he needs.
"Remember when I had that nightmare two nights ago. I was asleep in your room like I always am. I dreamed that I had died and that no one cared. Remember what you said to me?"
"That I wish I could change the way that you see yourself." Finneas said.
"Yeah. I made a song about that. I finished writing it because of what you just said. And I am trying to find something wrong with it because I'm embarrassed about what you are gonna say because it's about me and you."
"Billie I... I love you. And I don't think that anything you write about me and you can be bad. Well actually ..."
" I mean about our relationship dumb ass and how your there for me."
"Sing it for me?" He asked.
"Nah I'll sing it tomorrow when I get home I need a shower and a change of clothes."
"Your going home tonight?" Vanessa asked looking kinda sad.
"Nah I'll go to the hotel but I'm gonna go home take a shower work on the song with Finn and then I'll be back at the hotel tomorrow. I'm not bout-a run all over the damn country tonight. "I finished and everyone started laughing.
"Cool." She said laying her head back down on my chest. I noticed her eyes were getting heavy.
"You sleepy mammas?"
"Very."
"Let's go back to the hotel." Bright said.
"Okay." Vanessa said standing up when I stood up she almost fell over so I grabbed her elbows.
"Here." J.T. Said coming over.
"I'll carry her."
"Okay." I said. I took off the blanket from around my shoulders and put it around Vanessa. J.T. picked her up. He carried her to my car and put her in the passenger seat.
"Drive safe." J.T. Said after closing the door.
"You too." I smiled at him and got in the car.
"You know you have a beautiful voice right." Vanessa said half asleep.
"Thank you."
"Promise me something."
"Anything mammas."
"Tie me up."
"Anytime." I said smiling and watching as Finneas pulled out of the parking lot first than Gal. Then it was my turn. I followed them back to the hotel and J.T. raced over to my car. I unlocked it and got out making sure I got everything including Vanessa's phone. J.T. opened the door picked her up and gestured for me to go first. We walked all the way up to the room. I unlocked the door. Once he put her down he started to walk out.
"Night." He said after exiting the room.
"Night." I said closing the door.
"Billie." Vanessa said half asleep. It was so adorable.
"Yeah mammas."
"When did we get back?"
"A second ago. I was just gonna tie you up."
"Oh." She said getting into position for me to tie her up. After I finished I got comfortable in her side and immediately got sleepy.
"Night babes."
"Night mammas."
I think this is gonna be the first good nights sleep I have gotten all month.

꧁𝔼𝕟𝕕 𝕆𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣꧂