Cartel│Mark Lee

Last night together

The cold wind stung my cheeks as it gusted over my face. My mind was blank as I closed my eyes and dreamed of a different world. "You will be okay. You will be okay." I whispered to myself for some reassurance. The balcony was the one place I cherished in this lonely house and in the dark it truly felt like a different dimension. The stars shined brightly and I wished I was able to fly high enough to reach them. The door suddenly slammed open from behind me and I jumped, startled from the loud noise. Mark stepped out onto the balcony and I warmly smiled at him. Our relation was beyond complicated but at least it wasn't awkward. "I thought you would be out here." He stepped beside me and looked out to the garden. "Its cold out here and you're just wearing a sweater." He frowned at me. He began to take off his jacket. "Im okay Mark." I tried to brush off his kind gesture but he refused. "Stop." He threw his jacket over my shoulders and I muttered a small thank you. The smell of Mark wafted into my nose and I was immediately at ease. 

"I have some news." He glanced at me and I shuddered at the seriousness of his tone. "What is it?" I sighed and leaned my head back. "Tomorrow we are going to meet with Haechan." He took a breath in deeply. "What is the reason this time?" I dreaded the idea of facing that man again. I have never hated anyone more In my life than him. "We can't ignore him forever. I have been in contact with him and I have a plan." He stared off into the distance as a feeling of melancholy took over his expression. I wondered if this was his big plan he had been working on and was unable to tell me. He didn't look proud of this plan and I couldn't help be scared of what was to come tomorrow. I didn't ask any questions to which Mark was relieved about. I didn't want to know the answers to any of the questions I had. I wanted to sleep tonight and not be terrified by this plan Mark built.

"It will be okay if you just listen to me tomorrow Vanessa. I mean it you have to listen to me." His voice was dry and I nodded. "Of course." We remained silent and let the sound of the wind fill our ears. "I have a request." Mark's voice was gentle as he looked toward me. "Anything Mark." I replied. I would do whatever Mark asked of me in all honesty. "Can we just pretend like it's our last night ever together?" His words made me stare at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked and my lips parted. "I don't know what tomorrow's outcome will be like and I just want to pretend for one night. I want to throw everything away for tonight." He almost pleaded to me as I was shocked by his sudden words. "Are you scared Mark, for tomorrow?" I begged to know the answer to my burning question as it filled me with fear. "Im only scared I wont be able to really be with you freely for one more time." His voice was barely audible and I took in a sharp breath. "Please nessa."

The moonlight casted down on his face and I thought about his proposal. He suggested that this could be our last night together, which was entirely bizarre, but I still didn't know his plan or Haechans. I didn't know how tomorrow's events would play out and with that fact in mind I became exactly as scared as Mark was. I was afraid I would never be able to really enjoy his presence romantically in my life again and he was proposing this for just one night. "For one night?" I confirmed and he nodded. I let go of my negative thoughts telling me to hold back and said, "Okay." Marks saddened face turned around at my answer like he wasn't expecting it. He beamed and stepped in closer to me. "One night. Starting now." He pulled me into him and our lips met. I almost sighed into his mouth as I melted into him. It was satisfying, giving into Mark like this. My heart always ached for him and feeling him this way made my whole body get chills. We kissed passionately and hungry for each other. You could feel the pure feeling of want between the two of us and it was hard to ignore. 

"It's getting late. We have an early start tomorrow." He mumbled against my lips as we continued our kiss. I pulled away confused at his sudden urge to leave. He always left me when I didn't want him to. My confusion ended when he said, "Will you come to my room and sleep with me tonight. I dont think ill be able to if you're not with me." He nervously lost eye contact with me and a sheepish smile creeped onto my face. I nodded and he beamed down at me. Mark pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. "I've missed you." He paused. "So much." His ironic words left me feeling uneasy but I promised I would cast those feeling to the side, just for tonight. I saw Mark everyday but I understood him. I missed him in this way too.

Mark lead me into his room and I looked around intrigued. I had never set foot in Marks room before. This was completely new territory to me. Mark yawned and pulled the silk bed covers down to get into. I stood their almost uncomfortably as I was nervous. "Come here nessa." His eyes smiled at my current state and I slowly walked over to the bed. I had to admit that my heart had learned to like the pet name Mark called me as it made me feel soft inside. He always had a way to let me view myself as less of a monster. I crawled into the bed and Mark immediately wrapped his arms around me. The room was dark and I could only see the outline of Mark's body in front of me. I sighed in content at this comfortable feeling. The comforter rustled as we moved around. I let my body relax with his beside mine and I curled into him as it felt like I couldn't get any closer. "This just feels right doesn't it?" His voice startled me and I opened my eyes wide. He was right it did feel oddly enough perfect but I couldn't help the devilish thoughts in the back of my head. I believed I was only using him. I believed I was just an illusion to him and he didn't actually love me. Due to those thoughts I didn't respond but only hummed quietly in agreement. 

"I know you don't believe me and I know that you're tired of being here in this life." His words were sad and I continued to stay silent on the matter. He sighed. "Don't worry I have a plan for you Vanessa. You will be happy and that is all I'll ever want from you." Mark placed his lips on my forehead softly. I closed my eyes at his action in bliss. My fingers traced random words and shapes on his chest and the silence in the room was replaced by both of our breaths and heart beats matching paces. I wondered what his plan was for me. My curiosity wasn't large enough for me to ruin this moment with questions. It was our last night together like this until we went back to normal and I was walking on eggshells trying not to disturb our peace together. I was capable of starting many fights and disagreements with the man beside me but I held off so I could selfishly enjoy my night with him. I closed my eyes and genuinely smiled."Goodnight Mark."