Cartel│Mark Lee

You're not leaving

"Mark this is serious he is ready to do just about anything to take you down!" Taeyong explained. Taeyong was Marks favourite and most experienced bodyguard. Taeyong was extremely concerned about this situation. "I heard that he won't stop until you're dead. You need to take this seriously." Mark scoffed at his words and rested a hand on Taeyongs shoulder. "I know, that is why I killed the man he sent." I sat there quietly in Marks office. I did not want to intervene on this matter. I had no idea who the man they were talking about was. I was honestly scared by Taeyongs words though and I wanted to be as far away from here as possible. "He will send a million people if he has to. I don't think you understand, you are in danger." He paused and looked to me. "And so is she." My eyes darted the floor and then to Mark. I was afraid deep down on the inside. The scare from yesterday really made me feel uneasy. As much as I liked to hide my innermost feelings to look strong, I wasn't.

Mark looked at me as if waiting for me to say something. I wanted to laugh and say we would face this situation head on. I wanted to say we would be okay and get through this, but I stayed silent in the corner of the room. Mark pursed his lips and turned away from me. "We will stack up security everywhere. I need you to make sure Vanessa has a guard on her at all times." He was listing orders out loud as Taeyong wrote them down. I looked out the window towards the garden. The sun was shining down but it didn't feel bright at all. I was getting tired. I was tired of hiding my feelings from Mark and I was tired of being strong. My muscles ached to relax as I was always tense. I craved to breakdown. "I don't want a guard." I finally spoke up, bringing both the boys attention towards me. "Vanessa this isn't an option." Mark squinted his eyes at my reaction confused. "I don't want any of this." I breathed out. My words dug deeper than there surface. I didn't not just want the protection, I didn't want this life anymore.  "Miss you are in danger. We need to take precautions." I glared at Taeyong. "nessa you will be protected at all costs. I don't care if I have to build a fucking moat around this house." Mark was now annoyed at my sudden reaction. 

My fingers reached the temples of my forehead and I rubbed them. I flinched at the memory of the gun resting just where my fingers were in that moment and I felt sick. "The man's name is Haechan. He wants to take over the cartel." Marks voice simmered down as he tried to explain the importance of what situation we were in. I already knew the importance though; I was in danger and I was scared. "He is very powerful and won't stop until he gets what he wants." He paused. "He wants me dead." I couldn't take it anymore. Fear overtook my body at the mention of this man harming Mark and I. "I'm going to my room. Im too tired for this today." I frowned and got up from my seat. Mark huffed at my incompetence but it only made me feel worse. 

 I went to my room and looked out the window again. The thought of running made me smile. I could disappear from here and just run away. I could leave without a trace and no one would notice. Mark could get another girl to help him right? He didn't need exactly me for his plan. I was just a replaceable piece in his life. To that thought I grabbed my suitcase and piled my stuff inside it one by one. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I zipped my suitcase shut. My reflection in the mirror was disgraceful. Was this who I really was? I believed I was confident in myself for so long, I believed in this life of power. My power high was cut short when I finally realized I wasn't invincible from everyone. My hand covered my mouth as I cried. I couldn't bear to look at my own reflection. 

A knock came from outside my room and I paused. "Vanessa can we please talk?" Marks voice boomed through the other side of the door. I gulped away my pride and slowly opened the door to face him. His eyes flickered from my closed suitcase and to me. I felt so small in that moment and died of the thought of letting him down. "What are you doing?" He asked me confused. I couldn't speak, my only communication came through the eye contact we held. "You're leaving?" His voice was almost a whisper. He shook his head and grabbed the suitcase from my hand. "No." He was now on his knees as he opened the bag. He started throwing the clothes I packed out of the bag and onto the floor. "Mark." I stifled his name out of my mouth. "You're not running away! You can't. No." He continued to shake his head as he threw my clothes around. My hand touched his shoulder and he jolted it off immediately. "You're not leaving. Everyone leaves. You are not running away like my mother!" His back was turned to me as he yelled. Distress was written all over my face as I begged him to stop. 

"You're not leaving." He mumbled again to himself, almost like he was defeated. My heart held sympathy for him and I felt terrible that I was doing this to him. I realized that my fear was stopping me from succeeding. It was stopping me from being strong. I let it take over me and that wasn't fair to Mark. "Why do you want to-" I cut him off. "I'm sorry." He looked at me confused and saddened. I hurt him. "Im so so sorry Mark." More tears escaped my eyes as I tried to conceal them. He stood up and walked towards me, still confused. His hand held my cheek as he wiped away the tears from my face with his thumb. I solemnly swore to myself in that moment that I wouldn't leave, not like this. As I looked into Marks eyes I knew I couldn't do it, I wouldn't be able to leave him. 

"I'm just honestly scared Mark. I thought if I left things would be better. You wouldn't have to worry about me or-" He stopped me abruptly from talking as he placed his lips on mine with force. My eyes opened wide and I stumbled back in shock. He greedily pulled me back into him closer. My eyes closed in tranquil as I deepened the kiss. My body felt on fire and my skin ached to be touched by him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands through his hair. The kiss was beyond deep and passionate, It was almost like the built up tension between the two of us exploded in that moment. We both pulled away slowly and stared intently at each other. His eyes were light as the looked into mine and I felt like I was in a dream. I felt it again; the adrenaline that kept me going. Mark fueled my fire again and it made me slightly smile. I felt alive with him and that was all I needed to continue.