Cartel│Mark Lee

I love you

Mark slept soundly beside me as I laid awake. He was so peaceful in this state, almost like nothing could touch him. His eyes softened from his always so tensed state and his light snores put his whole aura into abyss. My head rested on his chest and I felt comfort in the inevitable rising and falling it held from his breaths. Mark yet unconscious, still had his arm woven tightly around my frail body. My thoughts pondered around my head as I tried to feel blank minded. Mark twitched in his sleep and mumbled something under his breath. I let out a faint smile at the hidden charms of Mark Lee.

Although he seemed tough and almighty, he was somewhat still childish with his quirks. Mark kindled emotions in me that were indescribable and as I peered up at him I didn't have a reason in the world to not share my whole heart to him. Mark and I traveled through the craziest of times together but still always found our way back to each other. With all the hurt we passed onto one another we still were able to ignite that fire inside us that we both craved while cold. I came to learn that I could forgive Mark for everything and that he would do absolutely anything for me. I figured that if Mark was able to walk so blindly for me I would be able to do the same.

I placed my lips on Marks bare skin and pecked him lightly. Marks words from yesterday had reached me far more then I thought they would. He was right, marriage would work if we both were able to share as much love as we received. I couldn't hide behind my fears anymore and ignore the fact of my feelings. In the beginning, I would have given everything for Mark to feel this way about me and now I was abusing that privilege by not reciprocating my feelings towards him. With all that we had been through together we proved that we did in fact belong together. We were two lost souls that found each other and built ourselves up from our biggest weaknesses. 

I propped myself up on my elbow to view Marks face better. His strong grasp on me tightened and he attempted to pull me in closer to him. He let out a groan at my sudden movement and turned his head over to me. "Where are you going." His voice was groggy as he was still half asleep and I let out a tiny giggle at how cute he looked in that moment. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." My voice was quiet as I reassured him. He hummed in response as his grip on me slightly loosened with ease. What Mark didn't realize was that my words held a deeper meaning. I wasn't ever going anywhere. I had vowed in this moment I would stay with him forever with no fear holding me back.

I had always been afraid of being stuck. I had always wanted to be in control with the utmost power and felt that if I said those three important words to him I would be stuck with him forever. I now realized that being stuck with him forever wouldn't be such a bad thing. It would be almost heaven. With his eyes still closed, I gently pushed back his hair with my hand. His once furrowed eyebrows eased at my touch and his breaths turned deep again in sleep. I bit my lip in satisfaction while looking at the man I loved sleep so soundly beside me. I almost felt miserable for the pain I put him through. "Mark," I whispered. 

I got no response from him and I closed my eyes. I leaned down to rest my lips on the corner of his brow. I then traveled to his cheek and then to his nose. My light kisses seemed to awaken him as he scrunched up his nose. My face hovered above Marks and he sleepily smiled at my outlined figure. Now awake, he lifted his head ever so slightly to kiss my lips and I met him halfway. "Can you not sleep baby?" He mumbled against my lips and I broke away from our moment of affection. "Not really." I softly spoke. He scratched the back of his head and lifted his tired body up to sit. Mark leaned on the back of the headboard and ushered me to sit up as well.

Mark pulled my tiny frame in between his legs to rest. My back rested on his chest as his head swooped down to rest on my shoulder. Feeling relaxed, I closed my eyes in bliss. This moment reminded me of the time Mark and I escaped to the beach house to isolate. We sat on the sand just as we were now and watched the sunset. We co-founded our relationship there and I will always remember the happiness I felt with him. His arms wrapped around my torso and I rested my hands on his forearms. "What are you thinking about?" He asked me and I took in a deep breath. "I always thought I could figure everyone out in the world until I met you Nessa." He almost chuckled sleepily and I smiled at his words.

"Maybe that is a good thing." I bantered with him and he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck, making me laugh. The room was about to fall silent until I decided I wasn't going to let it. Silence always replaced unspoken words between us and I was done with that way of life. "I love you, that's what I was thinking," I said slowly and bit the inside of my cheek nervously. Even though I knew those words were what Mark longed for, I still felt a sense of nervousness take over my body in fear of his response. Mark stayed silent and I felt tense under his grasp. 

I began to break away from his hold on me until he pulled me back into him. "Mark really, I-" I stopped my words abruptly when I turned my body around to see his face. Mark held a smile I had never seen before. He looked almost too innocent for being a cartel boss and his smile was contagious as it brought me glee. I was now kneeling between Marks sprawled out legs while facing him. He brought his hands up to cup my face as he beamed at me childishly. "Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear those words, Vanessa?" His voice sounded sincere as he treated this moment like gold. I nodded my head no shyly and grinned at his burst of happiness. 

I felt foolish for not saying those words earlier even though I knew why I didn't. If I knew how I would have felt seeing Mark like this because of those words, I would have said them way earlier. I would've wanted to say those words a million times over again. Mark pulled my face into his to kiss him and I complied. The happiness that exploded between us was indescribable. I felt invincible in that moment for the first time in forever. I felt it again, the power that fueled me. It was all because of Mark.  "I love you. I love you. I love you." Mark said in between each kiss we shared. I laughed from the feeling of amusement and unalloyed happiness that overflowed throughout my entire body. 

Here we connected in pure bliss in the early hours of the morning. We laid in our large bed, intertwined in our pajamas laughing like children. We felt it again. The spark between us that was lost not long before. We felt the happiness that once visited us before our life fell dull. Mark showed me his words were true; Love can make this work. Love would be able to make our relationship thrive in ecstasy despite the uncertain life around us. As I looked into his eyes I believed that we had just found our happiness again and I was ready to full-heartedly surrender to him.