All You Are is What I Need (Larry BoyxBoy) Book 2

Twenty Five

The cool ocean air freezes their hotel room, and when they wake up in the morning, they are tangled limb for limb under the duvet. Louis wakes up first. His eyes feel heavily sealed, and he lets out a loud groan, stirring Harry awake.

Then he remembers last night.

God.

Harry is quickly untangling himself from Louis after a moment of stillness, rolling out of the bed and stumbling onto his feet.

"Harry," Louis warns.

Harry is slipping his sweats on quickly, and Louis' not in the mood. He just- he just crawls to the end of the bed and awkwardly tackles him to the hotel floor.

"Lou, get off of me," Harry groans lifelessly.

"We are talking about this."

"I don't want to."

"We have too."

"I don't have to do anything."

"Stop being a brat, Harry."

"You're the one being a brat, Louis. I don't want to talk about what happened, okay? Now get the fuck off me."

"Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"I just don't."

"Why?"

"Because it's embarrassing!"

"Oh, embarrassing? Is that what it is for you? Because it's fucking heartbreak for me."

Harry is writhing beneath Louis, who has him pinned to the ground. They are yelling, but they can't be damned to give a shit.

"I told you I was too much for you!" Harry cries out, "You didn't ask for all this! I know, Louis!"

"What are you talking about, Harry? I'm pretty sure when I asked you to be my boyfriend, I was asking for all this. I knew about it all before, Harry. None of this changes the fact that I am in love with you!"

Harry closes his eyes, turning his head to the side of the floor, going pliant under Louis.

"I need to know what is going on in your head, Harry. I need to know how to help you." Louis says desperately, brushing Harry's curls back best he can, "Why are you shaking your head, love?"

"Because I don't know what's going on half of the time." Harry sobs, "Sometimes things just- just happen, Lou. I just- no one has loved me like you have. And- and I get insecure, and scared."

"Why do you get insecure and scared, love?" Louis asks, lowering his face so he can trail gentle kisses over his jaw.

"Because I think you're going to realise I am more trouble to your life than good," Harry whispers through his tears, "and that one day you're just going to leave me."

Louis sucks kisses into the skin on Harry's neck, calming Harry down to coax the answers from him, "So what were you feeling last night?" He murmurs it against his skin, basking in the shiver that goes through Harry's body.

"Jealous, and scared, a-and dirty."

It's like the words are engraved into his brain. Like he has been thinking about them since then and nothing else. Like they're practised.

Louis brings his hands up and tangles his fingers in Harry's curls, kissing back over his jaw and to his throat, "Why were you jealous?"

"Because I didn't get to know you growing up," Harry leans his head back, supple under Louis' touch, "and I was scared because I felt dirty. I just started feeling really dirty, and gross. Because I didn't know you, and I don't know your family, and I don't know how to be normal."

Louis kisses up to Harry's naked lips, shaping his gently against them.

"I was jealous that you let Liam touch you," Louis murmurs against Harry's lips in return for what Harry told him, "and I thought I wasn't enough for you, Harry."

"Louis, I'm s-"

"Harry, you don't need to apologise," Louis kisses him again, "it isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

Harry clenches his eyes closed, biting at his lip as he shakes his head. "I just don't know what to do," he whispers.

Louis' heart breaks as he swipes Harry's fringe away again, pulling up to look at Harry more properly. "You're doing what you can, Harry. Look at everything you've done already. Look how far you've come. Just-just tell your therapist, okay?" Louis kisses Harry's nose as Harry nods. "And please, tell me, Harry. I'm not leaving you. I'm with you for the long run. I-I want you, all of you, okay?"

Harry nods silently, tears slipping down his cheeks in tangible forms of shame. He does not meet Louis' eyes. Louis tips his chin up, kissing him again, "Now, how about just you and me go into town and find some strawberry milk and body wash, yeah? We can scrub each other clean?"

"Yeah," Harry sniffles, "yeah, that sounds really nice."