My made up song

chapter 2

Katsuki Pov:

I couldn't believe what I was seeing... What I was, feeling. He stood there, big emerald eyes staring up at me, expectantly. But i'm not sure what it IS he's expecting. Does he think i'll yell? Announce my hatred? I don't know how long I've been holding my breath, but my chest begins to burn due to the lack of oxygen coming in.

He's just so breath taking. Big eyes, so wide and curious. Plump Lips that mumble out little apologizes, wait why is he apologizing? I want to tell him how happy I am to see him, and how he's been on my mind every day. I want to tell him how much I've missed him and how sorry I am. But, nothing comes out. I open my mouth, trying to force myself to speak. He doesn't give me the chance, before he's turning on his heel pushing through the crowd of sweaty bodies lining the floor. I'm frozen to my spot. Was he... really here? After all of this time, I wouldn't blame him for running away from me. After, everything I did.. everything I said. No. I won't make the same mistake again.

I snap out of my daze and start after him. Did he come here alone? I panic, I can't spot him anywhere. I take a deep breath and try to think. Where would he hide? My eyes scan around the club, checking through crowds of people. No, it's too loud. He would look for somewhere quiet. Shakily, I push out a breath i didn't realize I was holding. That's when a sign pops into my line of vision. The bathroom. I move quickly, determinedly to the bathroom. I wiggle the handle, it's unlocked... I push against the door only to realize there's something blocking the door. What the fuck? I peek inside, carefully, only to find deku crumpled on the floor. Sobbing and pulling at his hair. His chest heaves with unsteady breaths. My heart clenches at the sight before me.

I quickly Push my body through the door before closing it and locking it behind me. I sink down to my knees next to the weeping ball on the floor. "Deku, c'mon... stop crying." I whisper. I'm not even sure if he heard me over the sound of his own sobs. I reach a gentle hand out to touch him, to let him know i'm here. He flinches at the touch, making me frown and quickly retract my hand. I can't push him, I need to make him comfortable enough to calm down. I try to ignore the pain in my chest,as he lifts his eyes to meet mine. His eyes are glassy from tears and his nose and cheeks are stained red, hiding the freckles underneath. Those cute little freckles... I shake the thought away and focus on helping him calm down. He pulls in a deep breathe before sitting up, shakily. He looks hesitant, choking down his cries, before he finally speaks. "I-i'm so sorry k-kachaan. I didn't mean to, to... to do that! I didn't l-look at who was behind me and and and.." he chokes on another sob, effectively ending his sentence. His hands shake, and wind around himself, obviously trying to bring himself some sort of comfort.

I've seen izuku cry many times, especially when we were kids. It pained me so much then, but I didn't understand my own feelings. I wanted to make him hurt as much as i did... I wanted him to feel the way he made my heart speed in my chest, the way everything around me was burning hopelessly.. He was the only light I ever had. He always was there, a step behind me, offering his help. I didn't want his fucking help, dammit. He was just a stupid kid. But, so was I. He was always so empathetic, strong, passionate...I hated him for being what I couldn't. I envied the light in his eyes, and the way his heart continuously gave, and gave.. And he never seemed to run out of love and kindness to give. I hated it. I hated that I knew one day he would set himself of fire to keep those around him warm. I didn't want to watch the world burn that light away, so... I guess, in my own fucked up way, I was trying to protect him. He needed to know that the world would never return that kindness. It was cruel, harsh.. unforgiving. I hate to see him like this now, even more than I did back then. I shook my head, returning all of my attention to the sobbing figure in front of me. Crying like this almost made it impossible for me to view him as any older than the last time I saw him. It must have been highschool. I mean, it's not like I know the exact day or anything.... fuck.

"De-Izuku..." I mumble out, as gently as possible. I've never been good with emotions. He snaps his head up again at the use of his name. I try to ignore how good it feels rolling off my tongue. I reach my hand out again, offering it to him. "Just... just come with me, dammit. I can't leave you like this, shitty nerd." I try to keep a look of indifference, try not to show that his rejection could crush me, How much I knew I needed him. I see the hint of a smile creep to his face, before he pushes it away. He's never been one to hide his smile, so this makes me frown slightly. He looks hesitant, but accepts my hand. As soon as he's on his feet, he stumbles almost loosing his balance. "fuck" he mutters, clenching his eyes shut.

I roll my eyes before chuckling, "Damn, deku. How much did you fucking drink?" He groans at my question, and leans further into me for support. Realizing we won't make it very far with him being like this, I instruct him to hang on and swoop him up into my arms. He squeaks in surprise, arms tightening around my neck. I start to head towards the door, before he lets out a panicked "wait! wait! I have to t-tell uraraka, so she doesn't worry!" I groan in annoyance, that round-faced extra is still around? I pull his phone out of his back pocket, handing it to him. A blush is covering his face as he looks at me, ignoring the look he gives me I grunt out, "cell phones are a thing, loser. Text her, we're leaving." and with that, I turn and head towards the door once again. Izuku is silent as I carry him to my car. I can't help but admire him. He's just as gorgeous as he was back then... but, there's something different about him. I can't help but feel something isn't right with him. Despite not seeing each other for a few years, I've always been able to read deku like a book. I could always tell how he's feeling.

But now? It seems impossible. Something's up, and this time... I'll do this right. I'll take care of him and show him that I do care about him. That is, if he can forgive me for everything i've done. I'm interested to be able to talk to him and find out more about his life now.. Where does he work? Who are his friends? How is his mom doing? Does he have a boyfriend...? I reach into the pocket of my jeans, and pull out my keys, unlocking the car and carefully lowering deku into the passanger seat. He seems almost asleep as I reach over to buckle him in. I brush his green curls out of his face gently, letting my hand linger for a moment before retracting my hand and quietly shutting the door. I get in and start the car, humming along the song playing on the radio. I try to focus on the road, and not the sleeping angel next to me. If anyone knew how fond I was of him, I'd never hear the end of it.

Only he can do this to me, he always has.

Notes: