Toxicity ~ A Party Poison Story

Eleven - New Bonds

Tox hopped off her bike to see Gerard sitting on the edge of the roof with his feet dangling over, swinging back and forth. She raised a concerned eyebrow at the wide awake man above her, who was smiling childishly. 

"Ha ha you can't get to me." He stuck his tongue out at her. 

"Okay, bet." Tox cocked her head to her shoulder quickly before taking a few steps backwards. At full speed, she ran towards the overhang drain pipe, grabbed onto it, and used it to swing herself atop it. Then she hoisted herself up from the overhang onto the roof. 

"Huh... okay then..." He spoke with a dropped jaw as he took a seat by the standing walkie talkie and radio. Tox chuckled under her breath and sat beside him.

It was a semi-comfortable silence they sat in as they gazed into the stars above them, "I can't remember the last time I just sat, relaxed, and well.. stargazed." Tox admitted in awe of the night sky.

"It's gorgeous, I wish I did this more often." Gerard replied, with you included, he said in his mind.

"I do remember, that I used to do this quite often actually. Especially after taking out dracs. It would be my stress relief. I would lay in the sand to avoid craning my neck. Sometimes I would be having a really rough day, so Jul-" Tox cut herself off to avoid talking about her past relationship.

Gerard sighed before turning to Tox, "Tell me about him. Your old relationship that seems to trouble you so much." 

Tox looked over at Gerard, half surprised, half compelled. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, "Her name was Julie." 

Gerard's jaw dropped, "Oh... I-I didn't mean to assume. I just-" 

"It's fine, Gerard." Tox smiled, "I'm Bi."

"Oooohh." He whispered, "Sorry, continue."

A smile fell onto Tox's lips as she remembered, "Oh Julie... she was beautiful. Her hair was naturally red, but wanted me to dye it yellow. God it was a bitch to do with her curls, but she looked amazing with it. She was the bassist in my band, and a little ray of sunshine. Everything about her was happy. The way she walked, the way she talked, I could even see her smile in the notes she wrote me everytime she packed us lunches if we didn't have the same lunch block. We were together till the end... I planned on proposing to her.

"When BLI took over, we ran away together. It was just Julie and I against the world. We trained together, and fought together. Granted she wasn't much of a fighter, she usually tagged behind with a blaster and stitched me up when I got hurt. 

"But... there was this one time... I went out to fight some dracs. She was still asleep and I didn't want to wake her. It was only a few dracs so I knew I could take them on my own. But I didn't think about the possibility of them breaking into the station. It's never happened, so I didn't think it would. 

"They found Julie, but they didn't kill her. No, they did something much worse. They put a mask over her head, and she became one of them. They turned my little ray of sunshine into a killing machine set after me, and only me. If she didn't kill me, then they'd kill both of us. 

"I tried talking her out of it, but my Julie was gone. They mashed her brain the second the mask fell over her face. She wasn't Julie anymore, she was one of them. I tried and tried and tried, but nothing worked. I... I shot her. Not once, not twice, but seven times. I dusted every dracs in sight.

"I laid there, holding her dead and bleeding body in my arms, wishing I could rewind the clocks to just twenty minutes before. So I could stay home with Julie to protect her. It was all my fault. She died because of me, in more ways than one."

The roof was silent again. Gerard had no way to process the information just dumped on him, or any way to speak. He looked over at her to see a tear drip down Tox's face. Tox just kept staring forward until she felt his gaze upon her. She looked him in the eye, and for once Gerard saw real emotion in her eyes. Pure sadness. 

So instead of talking, he wrapped his arms around her. He knew for certain it was the right thing to do, he felt it deep within him. She may not have that said it, but that girl was screaming for a hug. And she knew she was. It took a few seconds to adjust, but soon after she wrapped her arms around Gerard. She held him tight, almost as tight as the dawn she held Julie for the last time. And she cried... a lot. Tox let out any tears left from earlier in the day, and a few new ones as well. 

"Tox, I'm so sorry." Gerard whispered into her hair as he rubbed her back soothingly. He had only assumed that it was a rough breakup, maybe the possibilities of dracs being involved. This was a hundred times worse than anything he had figured. "I'm here for you, okay? If you want to talk about it any more, if you just wanna talk about her - or anything else for that matter - I'm here." 

The girl wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and buried her face deep into it, nodding tightly. A few muffled sobs sounded from Tox as she tried to calm herself down, "I miss her so much, Gerard."

"I know she misses you, Tox." He soothed in a low tone. 

Tox sniffled, "She probably hates me. I know she's looking down on me and is disappointed. She'll never forgive me."

"Yes she will, Tox. I'm sure she already has. The way you described her to me, it sounded like she loved you very much. And there's no way she would hate you for what you did. You had no choice, Tox. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Whether you blasted her or not, she was gone. It's not your fault." Gerard pulled away to hold her face in his hands at the end. He needed her to look him in the eye as he told her that it wasn't her fault, or she wouldn't believe it.

"That's not the only reason why she would hate me." Tox choked out another sob.

Gerard wiped away more falling tears, "Why else would she?" 

"Because I'm catching feelings for someone else."

He took a moment to process what she had just said. Catching feelings for someone else? Did she mean him? Gerard wasn't sure to be excited about it or not. The girl he had begun liking liked him back, but admitted to it while sobbing over her late girlfriend. Uhhhhh, "Julie would want you to be happy. And I'm not saying that as the guy who you may possibly like-" Tox chuckled lightly, wiping away a tear, "-I'm saying this as the friend who's gonna help you through this. Listen I may not know everything, but your Julie sounds like an amazing, and caring girl. If you had been the one in her place, what would you want for her?"

Tox was quiet, knowing he was right, "I-I'd want her to be happy."

"And what if her new happy, was with another person?" 

"I wouldn't be upset...." Tox concluded, "Thank you, Gerard."

"Anytime, Tox." He tucked her hair fallen out of her bun behind her ear, "Hey, I think this is the first time you've used my real name." 

She sighed as she nodded with a broken smile. Slowly she reached behind her head and untied the knot keeping her bandana around her face. Taking it off, she handed it to Gerard, "I feel like it's only fair."

Another speechless moment for the red head. He looked down at the cotton placed in his hand, unknowing of what to do with it. Gerard took the material, and wrapped it around her neck in a scarf like style. Tox looked at him and smiled. "I like it." Gerard stated.

The two shared a heartfelt smile before Tox scooted in next to Gerard and allowed him to wrap a arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his chest as they sat and continued watching the stars.