The Love I Hate (𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓪)

chapter 12

Y/n pov:
i walk into my house and i feel someone behind me i pretend not to notice until i realize it's mattia. i continúe walking into my house and i walk to the living room and go around the corner as i wait for hi
to follow me. he steps in the living room and i'm next to the wall i pull out my gun and point it to his head.
"you know if your gonna sneak up on someone make it more discrete" i say holding my gun up
"how did you? what?" he looks confused
"your terrible at sneaking up" i say smiling
"so what are you gonna kill me now" he says looking at me
"hmm sounds tempting" i say as i click my gun
"then do it princesa" he says smiling
"ok then" i say smiling back at him
*BOOM*

Mattia pov:
my face went blank she pulled the trigger and i feel a sharp pain in my stomach as i look up at her her smile fades.
"damn you do have balls" i say as i put my hand over the wound.
she grabs my arm and pulls me into a room full of medical supplies
"sit" she says pointing to the bed in the room
she grabs a bunch of things from a cabinet
"this might hurt" she said as she grabbed my hand and took it off the wound and she put alcohol on a cotten pad and started cleaning the wound.
"FUCKKK" i exclaim in pain
"what a pussy" she says chuckling
"yea says the one that shot me" i say with a straight face
"sorry" she says coldly
even thought she shot me i still couldn't be mad at her. she grabs some tweezers and looks up at me handing me a towel
"here but on that" she says
i grab it and put it in my mouth as she sticks the tweezers inside the wound as i squirm in pain but she quickly takes the bullet out of the wound and places it on the tray. she grabs string and a needle and starts to stick up the wound. she finishes and she puts a patch over covering the wound so it won't get infected. the entire time it was quiet while she was cleaning up all the blood.
"how's you learn to do this" i ask
"my brother thought me" she said bluntly
"hey uh-" i was cut off as she smashes her lips on mine
i kiss her back and she wraps her arms around me i do the same as our lips move in sync. i start pushing her toward a wall as i feel a wall behind her i lift her up and i start kissing her neck i find her soft spot as i start to suck leaving a mark as she moans and pulls my hair. i go back to kissing her lips and she pulls away i see tears in her eyes.
"what's wrong" i ask
"did i do something wrong" i ask worried i had hurt her
"no you did everything right it's just-" she stops mid sentence
"just what?" i ask wanting her to finish her sentence
"look what i did" she says pointing at my wound
"i caused you pain imagine if i didn't feel something, you would be dead mattia.
"but i'm not" i say making her look up at me
"i-i did this to you" she says with a tear down her cheek.
"mattia we can't have each other we are enemies" she says still looking at the wound
"then make me leave" i say looking down at her
she stands there not being able to move with a blank face.
"mattia i-" she starts
"say it y/n" i say
"mattia we can't"she says as i let out a sigh in frustration
"THEN MAKE ME LEAVE Y/N" i yell at her
"I CAN'T" she says
"WHY CANT YOU" i say wanting her to say the three words
"i just can't ok" she says as i start walking to the door
"where are you going" she asks as i head to the door
"to someone that isn't afraid to share their feelings" i say as i open the door
"Mattia wait" she says as she runs behind me and closes the door
"i want you" she says ask she wraps her arms around me
"why?" i say wanting her to say those three words
she looks down and avoiding eye contact.

Y/n pov:
he's wait for me to answer but i just can't say the words the simple I LOVE YOU. he looks down at me and let's out a sigh as he opens the door again and leaves. i stood there frozen for a minute. i felt my already shattered heart shatter even more. i shot him and i couldn't even say i love you. because that what it was love. it wasn't lust i felt for that man it was love. but i was too scared to let him in the walls that i have built so high. the last time i said those words to someone they stabbed me in the back. he didn't know that but i couldn't tell him. i went up stairs and changed out of my dress that had blood all over it i put it in a trash bag and threw it out. i changed into my pjs and i saw the hickey he left on my neck. i heard the door in my room open i turn around and i see my mom standing there.
"mija you ok" she asked looking at my eyes
"yes mama just memories" i say
"i miss them too" she says
"don't worry they are watching over us" she says
i smile as i walk to my bed and my down she walks tucks me in reminding me when i was a little girl and she sings me a song. i drift to sleep with memories that had made up who i am today.