Chapter 30
Confusion flooded through my senses again and again as if there was no ending. My head started throbbing and scenarios was coming after me all at once. It was then Rake's touched that stopped me from overthinking.
Napatingin ako sa kamay niya na nakapatong sa kamay ko, hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang bawiin iyon dahil wala akong ideya kung alin ang totoo sa hindi sa mga nangyari. I didn't want to cause panic as well. Because I'm okay but really, am I?
Napalunok muli ako. Erin, my sister, sat on the other side. Nag-aalala ang emosyon sa mukha nito. She hugged me tightly and rested her head on my shoulder.
"You should've call me, Ate. Kaya kitang damayan sa kahit anuman problemang pinagdadaanan mo."
I couldn't say a word. I was tongue tied with everything that was happening. I needed answer because I know the truth would set me free, but how would I? When I'm frightened as hell to figure it out? How would I be able to start from scratch? And separate reality from my fantasy?
But I'd been through alot. Hindi ako pinalaki ng magulang ko na maging mahina sa kahit anuman bagay. I should be strong and start solving my problem infront of me because if I won't then who will and when?
This wasn't the Ericka I knew. She was smart and never one step behind everyone. This was a game of my mind, a game between me vs me.
I composed myself and gave Erin a reassuring smile. Rake on the other hand tigthenes his grip on me. We badly needed to talk. Kahit na may Doctor sa harap namin, he was the only person I trusted most in this room and could answer my disoriented mind.
"C-can I talk to Rake Alicante for a second?"
It felt weird hearing my own voice. Parang ang tagal na panahon ko ito hindi nagamit. Lumunok ako to wet the dryness in my throat.
Nagkatinginan si Erin at si Dr. Sanchez ng ilan segundo. Maya't maya bumaba na si Erin ng kama.
"Okay, nasa labas lang ako kapag kailangan mo ako, Ate," ngiting sabi niya saakin at nilapitan si Dr. Sanchez. "I think you heard her, let's wait until she's ready. Kailangan nilang mag-usap dalawa."
May sasabihin pa sana si Dr. Sanchez ngunit wala itong magawa sa kapatid niya na nakaharang sa tinatayuan nito. Huminga ito ng malalim as if giving up the invisible fight between him and my sister.
"Alright, let us know then. I need to discuss something to her after."
They both exited the room. Kami nalang ni Rake ang naiwan. Ngayon ko lang napansin na hindi niya parin binibitawan ang kamay ko. I gulped when we looked at each other. There was still an undeniable chemistry between us. He felt the same just like wifh the scenarios in my head. Kahit kinakabahan padin ako. I tried my best to calm myself.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at inakyat sa pisngi ko. Rake didn't say a word when I closed my eyes to feel his touch against mine. Naghigpit ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko as if stopping himself from doing something.
He caressed it using his thumb. Napadilat ako nang hawakan niya ang kabilang pisngi ko gamit ang isa niyang kamay.
Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa mga mata ko at labi. "I've been an asshole, Quinn. But seeing you unconcious for weeks is a damn torture. Araw-araw akong nagdadasal na sana magising kana para maitama ko ang mga mali na nagawa ko sa'yo. If only I knew, hindi na kita pinahirapan ng ganon. Kung alam ko lang..." Inilapit niya ang noo sa noo ko. I closed my eyes again, feeling his breath close to mine. "And I swear fucking this time, I won't do the same mistake. Kahit na ako nalang ang pahirapan mo dahil sa mga ginawa ko, I will oblige. H'wag mo lang akong iwan... It sucks, thinking I would lose you forever and not being able to give you what you deserve in this lifetime... I'm really sorry, Ericka Quinn—"
