ForNever

One: July

July nights never felt this cold. It's twenty-seven degrees but I feel like I'm on a bed made of water in its 0 degree. The emptiness. I'm feeling it's existence. Thankfully, mom bought me a new player. One that reads memory cards too.

My One Direction Midnight Memories album is on. I'm listening for almost an hour now, I think. It might not emit heat, yet the music it produces calms my nerves. Lessens the arctic atmosphere.

"I'm half a heart without you.
Though I try to get you out of my head,
The truth is..."

"Stop that music Kate! Your One Direction is playing for almost three hours straight! Give us a break!"

Three hours? It didn't even feel like that. I checked the clock and, oh. Yeah, she's right.

Anne reaches for the remote and ends my 1D moment. It's been four months since I got back to being one active Directioner. Four months. After that break up. That epic break up.

It didn't affect me that much anyway.  It's not that I don't love him. I just knew it'll happen. Every piece falls down in front of me and I'm smart enough to prepare myself than to lose myself and let myself fall with it. At least, I'm back to what I love to do.

"Do you realize what you just did? Anne, you cut Half a Heart!!! Half a Heart Anne!!! Give me back that remote or I'll..."

Anne stands and starts to jump ridiculously, waving the remote like its a flag. You're lucky you're not seeing her.

"Or what, my not-so-emo friend?"

I just stare at her til she stopped being silly. She stared at me too and seconds later, we just started laughing. Laughing this hard hurts my throat but I guess I'm loving the scratching sensation than the coughing one when I cry.

"What's with the craziness?"

Jenna enters the scene with a bowl of popcorn and a hard drive (or external as I call it) .

"I have new movies!".

"Any horror?"

I'm in a boarding house, spending days and nights with these girls. These two are pretty insane in many ways but they were my strength when I was trying to save what Chris and I have a few months ago.

That relationship was worth ending. Sad though that it wasn't that clear to me before. I tried to make it work. I, alone. When I started to notice that it's just me who does the efforts, I was soon awaken.

They were there when my eyes started to remain dry (which was actually just two days after break up. I told you, I prepared myself for it), knowing I'm better off being strong.

Ask them about Biology and they'll just answer you "frogs" (well, they're good when it comes to reproduction, just saying)

but when they see me sad, they'll do everything to cheer me up. Best friends. In just a year, our bond became strong. I'm okay now. I'm better, actually.

Boys? They gave me nothing but trouble. (not including my friends who are boys).

My days of facing my phone was over. Now, I can spend days without even texting anyone. I'm done with sweet texts and late night calls. Hello television screens and stereos, sometimes earphones.

Social media? Maybe once or twice a week. I post random stuff there. It's my shout out page. It makes me feel good every time I post something and actually think that there are a lot of people seeing it. Some sort of stress reliever, modernized.

I'm not into having it in my phone though.

"Kate, Greg's checking you out. He texted me if you're free tomorrow night. You ignored his texts again!!!"