To All The Boys I've Loved Before - Lara Jean's First Time

The Next Morning

The next morning I woke up relaxed to the sound of happy music. Then  i realized it. It's the sound of Kitty's alarm clock, and she usually wakes up half an hour after me. I look back and there he is. Peter Kavinsky is lying on my bed, sleeping like an angel. I can barely wake him up and my father knocks on the door:

- Wake up Lara Jean! Peter is already waiting for you inside the car.

Peter wakes up and realizes his situation. We quickly worked out a plan. I dress myself while Peter tries to straighten up with my hair comb and deodorant. He was brushing his teeth with his finger when he saw me putting on the bra.

- My God LJ!

- Stop it!

I get ready quickly and go down to the kitchen. While I'm distracting my father, Peter gets in the car as fast as he can. I realize that Margot saw him, but when she opens her mouth to speak I give her a look of panic and she stops. Before I leave she whispers:

- You'll have to explain everything to me later, young lady.

When I get in the car an awkward silence begins. We were so preoccupied with the idea of ​​getting caught that we forgot what we had done the night before. We were silent until we arrived at school. I pretend to be replying to a message and he focuses on driving. When we arrive, he waves at me and says:

- See you at lunch.

- Huhum. - I say, turning my back.

At lunchtime we remain a little shy. We stayed like that until we got to the car.

- What's happening Covey?

- What? - I say, pretending not to understand.

- You haven't talked to me all day.

- Neither did you.

- I was trying to give you space. Tell me what it was. Did I go too far yesterday? Didn't you like it?

- I liked it Peter, you know that - he smiles, proudly - But I didn't know how to deal with it this morning, I was ashamed. Maybe I wasn't ready at all.

Peter looks at the floor without knowing what to say, I bet he thinks I'm ridiculous. We have been dating for almost two months and I spend the day not talking to him just because of some silly touches, not even sex. Peter interrupts my thoughts:

- It was my fault Lara Jean - he rarely calls me by my  first name - I shouldn't have come to your place, said all of that, sleep in your bed, I'm sorry.

What he sayed me makes me reflect: would I have preferred that nothing had happened yesterday? The answer is no, I'm just scared.

- No Peter - he looks at me, attentive to what I'm going to say - It was good that you went. It's all new to me, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to try. I'm just nervous, that's all.

He hugs me and I feel welcomed on his shoulders.

-You don't have to be nervous, Covey -  he says as he runs a hand over my shoulder. -We will go in your time, in your rules. You're  the boss, ok?

I nod and we don't talk about it anymore. We went to Starbucks to study again, but this time it was me who didn't stop messing with his curly hair.