Blood, Sweat, and Kreutzer

Chapter Eight - Alyss

"Alyss, dear?" Ms. DuLacy lays a hesitant hand on Alyss's shoulder. "Halt is here."

"Oh," Alyss says. She touches the facedown drawing board, covering a pile of handwritten sheet music, but makes no move to turn it over. "You - he can come in."

Ms. DuLacy nods, then moves to the door, pushing it open. Halt enters, his piercing gaze instantly fixed on Alyss, seemingly trying to see all of her at the same time, to reassure himself that she's alive and okay. Alyss pushes down another surge of guilt at seeing his worry.

"I'll be back in a half hour or so," Ms. DuLacy murmurs to Halt. "Have to run to my office...Call me if either of you need anything?"

Halt nods, squeezing Ms. DuLacy's hand. "Of course, Pauline."

Alyss blinks twice, realizing that perhaps their relationship might run a bit deeper than just colleagues, or even friends, and has to file that thought away to pick apart at a different time because it's too distracting for the conversation at hand.

As soon as the door has closed behind Ms. DuLacy, Halt moves to take the chair next to the bed, reaching out for Alyss's hands. "Alyss. How are you? It's good to see you awake, and sitting up, and -"

Alyss is surprised to hear Halt rambling like this. He's usually so withdrawn and taciturn. She realizes that Halt's nervous. And probably still very worried about her. It's an unfamiliar feeling to be worried about, but not altogether unpleasant.

"I'm okay, Halt," Alyss says. "I'm really glad to see you. I've missed you, but I - I just couldn't - "

"You don't have to tell me," Halt says quickly. "It's okay."

Alyss looks at Halt, really looks, and sees the circles under his eyes, the exhaustion deep-set into his bones, and sighs. "I do, Halt. Because I need to apologize. Not only for scaring you, and Ms. DuLacy, and everyone else. I was upset, and irresponsible because of that. But also because I pushed you away after the fact. Halt, I respect and look up to almost as I do know one else. I know you'll always look after me and you always want to make sure I'm okay."

"Of course I do," Halt says. "I never want you to think otherwise. And I've seen how hard life's been on you in the past few months. Competition pressure aside, there was the whole fiasco with the Junior International prelims, which you didn't really have any time to process. And then whatever happened before your accident."

Alyss takes a deep breath. "Halt, the reason I pushed you away was because I was so hurt and upset by Will. And seeing you only reminded me of that. That was unfair to you and I wanted to say I am sorry."

"Oh, Alyss," Halt says. He opens his mouth to say more, but now Alyss is crying (again, she thinks) and instead he moves to sit on the edge of her bed, gently wrapping his arms around her.

"I miss Will," she chokes out, feeling a certain sense of tension rise from her shoulders from admitting it. "I'm hurt and mad at him, but I miss him so much."

"I miss him too," Halt admits softly.

They sit like that, Alyss leaning into Halt's embrace while he rubs her back comfortingly, until her tears have subsided into sniffles. Then, Halt gently leans her back against her pillows and returns to his seat next to her bed. 

"I'm sorry," Alyss murmurs after blowing her nose and blotting her face. "It's a lot going on right now, especially in my head, and I'm tired of crying."

"I'm surprised you haven't been crying more, all things considered," Halt tells her. "It's okay to cry, Alyss. You'll always feel better afterwards."

She nods, already feeling much lighter. "Yes," she says.